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We have four types of marriages which we call Type A to Type D marriages. Type D Marriages: This is also known as VETERAN MARRIAGE: This is the marriage of couples who have lived together for a long time. Their marriages are full of strife and open brawls but that has ceased, not because they are now fine, but because they are too old or too weak to fight. Now they are not foes and are not friends, they just live their life as it comes and wait patiently for the day of their demise. In this kind of marriage, there has been an emotional divorce and mental separation. They have almost nothing in common. Oneness is dead, fondness is zero, and togetherness is a strange grammar.But it is full of unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment malice, keeping records of old wounds, vengeance, nagging, etc. Type C Marriage: This is also known as COMBATANT MARRIAGE: This is full of fighting, open quarrels and scuffles, public embarrassment of ones partner, wife battering, bickering, shouting, cooking strife action by the wife, sexual denial, hunger strike (rejection of food by the husband) reporting each other to families, friends, neighbors and colleagues, competitive spirit, and become sworn enemies of each other. This kind of marriage is very common. It is around us. You and I can name couples in this category. One wonders whether they were ever in love, but the truth is, they were once in love. They were jolly friends, inseparable lovers and companions, most especially before and immediately after wedding. Before they got to this stage they must have passed through Type B marriage before they graduated to Type C level. If it does not break down, it eventually grows into the Type D unless they seek professional counseling to improve their marriage. Type B MONOTONOUS MARRIAGE: It is a boring marriage, full of routine. Romance has been shot dead, friendship has flown, playfulness has reduced to a dot, communication has dried up. There is boredom in the bedroom, loneliness, aloneness, solo syndrome, unmet expectation, focus only on job and career or on children, enjoying company of others instead of being with ones spouse, loving to travel away from home, or coming late from office without any justifiable reasons for it. Causes Of Monotony In Marriage. Things that do make marriage to become monotonous can be divided into two: External causes. Internal causes. External causes involve the following: Daily routine. If you allow your marital life to form a pattern, a routine, then it will get to a stage you will get bored. That is why you need to learn to spice up your marriage. On routine, basis, you need to begin to do something that is unusual to each other, like dating each other, playing together, eating out, etc. Irritation. Living together will reveal some bad aspects of your spouse to you, which can be irritating. If you focus on this irritation, you will get bored with your marriage. But if you learn to live above them, you will discover that they are not really irritating after all. Family pressure. This can also affect intimacy in marriage. Romance may be difficult when bills are rising and account is in red, but with openness, and trust in God you can also overcome. Never allow money to destroy your marriage. Busyness. Jobs, Religious and social commitment can affect love life. We can handle this by taking less responsibility outside the home and learn how to spend the little time you have together judiciously. Internal causes. These are things we cause through our actions, reactions and inactions. They are: Lack of communication Lack of attention Withholding of affection Failure to appreciate Routine sex life Sexual denial Deliberately hurting each other Lack of togetherness Wrong association A wise man said, Marriage becomes uninteresting and very difficult when it is starved of its food of communication, affection, attention and appreciation.
Article Source: http://www.bharatbhasha.net Article Url: http://www.bharatbhasha.net/advice.php/160237 Article Added on Saturday, August 29, 2009 LD | ||||||||
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