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? I secretly (or maybe not so secretly if I am blogging about it) hate Facebook. I hate stupid quizzes, I don't want to keep in touch with everyone I went to high school with, and I don't give a damn that you just went to the gym. But I feel that if I'm not on Facebook I'm a nobody. Or too old to be hip. I'm afraid Facebook is the new phonebook and I want to be found.
Which brings me to Don Draper. This is one of the only Facebook quizzes I have ever participated in. The question was...
•What Dating Can Teach You about Sales
I'm single and fairly attractive, so I do a lot of dating. I would love to teach a class for guys on dating - I swear I could save the world! Wars would end! Peace and love would reign! But I'm also afraid no guy would show up for a dating class. None of them wants to admit he doesn't have any game. So, I'm going for a sales article. After all, dating is all about selling whether we want to admit it or not.
1.) Bring your A game. It starts with the first contact. If you are sloppy...
•Life is a Trade Show
I've been to two huge trade shows recently so I have them on the brain. And what works on the trade show floor works in life, like it or not.
1.) You will be judged by your appearance. Cheesy, ugly booths did not attract the crowds that colorful well designed booths did. I'm not talking moneycreativity works too. But if you want to play in the big leagues, you have to look like the big leagues.
This means, like it or not, you have to dress appropriately. And the better you look, often...
•How to Survive a Bad Week
I know you all have had them - weeks from HELL! That is what this week has been for me. There was a discovery of a database disaster, a man who cheated on me called, I saw a surgeon about my hip (very bad news), and just this morning USAA called to tell me of some unauthorized use of my credit card. I am praying to the great cacao bean in the sky to end this madness!
Apparently I am much better in retrospect than I am in an actual relationship. The cheater wants a second chance - I was so...
•How to be Free - Part One Financial Freedom
I adore my freedom. In fact, I would go so far as to say it is my most important value. I agree with Christopher Morley who said, "There is but one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." This, to me, is freedom.
I also think America is a country that allows you to be free. That, in fact, America was founded on the principle of freedom. But too many people here feel they aren't free. And it seems to me they are turning to the wrong places to be set free. They seem to...
•Technology is My Best Friend and My Worst Enemy
I finally bought a Blackberry. The first few days I had it, I wanted to kill myself. I couldn't figure out how to send a textthe icons were different. It was weird talking into a flat slab. At least my flip phone seemed like a phonesomething that curves around your head.
On the fifth day, it locked up completely. I was freaked outI was on the road, hadn't brought my laptopI couldn't even make calls. This thing was garbage and I was obsessed with trying to get it to work! My texts...
•How to be Successful
You read everywhere that the world has changed; things will never be as good as they were; we have to get used to the new reality. Get faster, do more with less, implement more technologyrun, Forrest, run!
I'm not so sure about that. I think the basic principles for success are the same as they have always been. If you run your business and your life according to these, you'll be successful.
1.) Treat others as you want to be treated. Do you want to be on hold for 20 minutes? Do you...
•You CAN be Too Rich or Too Thin
I know that to many people this seems like heresy - these are two goals that influence a great deal of human behavior. But we've all seen someone who has clearly lost too much weight. Often they think they still need to lose more. And while it would seem that one could not be too rich, there is a point at which increasing one's wealth no longer increases one's happiness.
Here's the human dilemma - once we start to lose weight or earn money, we gauge our success by every pound or every...
•The Joy of Peeps (and of Life)
The Joy of Peeps (and of Life) For some unknown reason I have always been fascinated by the Peep (the cute yellow marshmallow chick put in Easter baskets galore). I can't explain it. But I am not alone; there are dozens and dozens of blogs and websites dedicated to the Peep.
I was waxing poetic about my new Motivation by Chocolate seminar and that Peeps were now made in chocolate when my friend Karen mentioned that JustBorn, the company that makes Peeps, was one of her clients and she...
•Life Lessons from the Lands Down Under
A few years ago I spent November (yep, the entire month) in Australia and New Zealand. It was the trip of a lifetime, and like all great journeys, it taught me many things.
Lesson Oneturn pain into gain. I'd been talking about going to Australia forever, but kept putting it off. It was so far, so expensive, etc. But about a year ago, I had what I thought was a good relationship go up in flames. There I was, having a pity partybummed about being 41 and single, wah, wah. Well, you can...
•How to Turn Bitter Events into a Sweet Life
Let's face it - life can be hard. No matter who you are, no matter what your circumstances - bad things can happen to you. Your heart can get broken, a business deal can fall through, or your investments can go up in smoke. (Not that THAT has happened to any of us recently.) You need a boost - a way to hit your own personal reset button and get back in the game. Because that's the secret really - you can't give up. You have to have the hope that things will be better - that tomorrow is...
•How to Lead in a Recession
This is it, leadersthe chance you have been waiting for! The perfect opportunity to be a guiding light in the darkness. The time to step up and inspire your people, to take away their fear, to offer them hope. Well? Where the hell are you?
If you are in a leadership position, you need to ask yourself some questions: Have I spoken to my people? Not sent out an e-mailaddressed them in personface-to-face. If you have not done so this year, you should be ashamed. They need to hear from...
•How to Be Lucky
Ah - the coveted luck 'o the Irish! Although I don't know how lucky the Irish really were (potato famine, Irish slavery (yes, there were Irish slaves), tough times as US immigrants) - being Irish was no cake walk. Ireland itself, as green and gorgeous as it is, isn't the easiest country to live in. But I like the Irish and they are closely associated with luck.
Several recent books and articles have attributed the success of many people not so much to their great skill or hard work, but to...
•Improve Your Communication Skills NOW
Need a job? Want to get promoted? Like to have a date? You're going to have to communicate! Introverts of the world - arise!
Here are some tips to get you started:
1.) Decide you want to communicate.
It all starts here. If you don't truly want to communicate with others, your efforts will be doomed. People are very perceptive and pick up on the smallest clues that you really don't want to be talking with them. (Well, most people that is.) So it starts with truly believing that...
•How to Decrease the Influence of Others
I am convinced the media is playing a key role in making the economy worse. All of the radio, television, and newspaper articles impact you even if you think they don't. I hear that spending is down, that companies are failing, that tens of thousands of people are losing their jobs. I worry about my own future. I cancel a vacation.
But every restaurant I go to is packed. The parking lot at the mall is full. So far, I'm having a good year. But I can't shake what other people are saying....
•Don't Let Recession Rain on Your Parade
I don't know about you, but I'm sick of all the recession doom and gloom. There's not a damn thing I can do about it and it is totally raining on my parade.
Well, I've decided to take my parade elsewhere. In honor of Mardi Gras, I say - Let the Good Times Roll!
Here's what I'm going to start doing today:
1.) As much as I can, I'm going to stop talking about it. I've found myself asking people I meet if the recession is impacting their business and we get all drawn into commiseration. Well,...
•How to Recover from a Job Loss
Here are some tips for recovering from a lay-off or firing:
1.) Get back out there. So your company was so stupid, they let you go. Fine. Payback is heck. You will find something even better. But here's the deal - you have to get back out there. Update your resume. If you don't know how to do it, get help. Use social networking sites to help you reconnect with all the people you ever knew. Attend networking events. WORK IT! Action will ALWAYS make you feel better. And it is the...
•Why Conferences and Annual Meetings are NOT Evil
Thanks to the media vilifying a few apparently out-of-control jaunts by corporations who had to be bailed out, many companies are now reconsidering their own meetings and conventions. Meetings are being portrayed as frivolous expenditures when people are being let go.
I say - STOP THE INSANITY!
If we keep buying into all the doom and gloom the media is generating, this recession will last forever. I find myself on the verge of panic until I actually compare the numbers and see that I'm...
•How to Recover from a Broken Heart
Getting your heart broken really is one of life's worst experiences. But you can get past it. And here are some tips to help:
1.) Get back out there. You don't have to date right away, but do things you love and be social. It's easy to want to just curl up and have a pity party. Be around others and LIVE!
2.) Learn from what happened. Here are some of the things I learned from my recent break-up:
Don't give up your heart too soon.
If you are open and honest it will make you vulnerable...
•Board Disorders
In my work with nonprofit boards I have seen several disorders which I would like to point out to you in the hope of someday finding a cure.
Committee-itisthis manifests itself when a board has WAY too many committees. So many committees in fact, it may not remember what the committees were formed for in the first place. Another form of committee-itis is not making any decisions or taking any action, but instead sending things to a mysterious committee where they will never be heard of...
•Why We Don't Reward Excellence
Recently I was very disturbed by an article I read in the Raleigh, N.C. News & Observer concerning grades at the University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill. The article was about grade inflation. This was the part of the article I found most disturbing:
Gilleskie, the economic professor who crunched the data for this new grade report, has struggles grading in an honors-level economics course that involves a great deal of tough written research. In a class of 15 honor students, the work...
•To Hope or to Act, THAT is the Question
I want to rant about something I saw in USA TODAY. It was one of those little polls they have off to the side of the stories. The question it posed to small business owners was, "Do you feel there is anything you can do to make a difference in whether your business succeeds or fails in the current economy?"69% said yes. But what shocked me was that 31% said no. WHAT? If that was how they responded, that 31% DESERVE to go out of business.
Take the words "the current economy" out of that...
•2009 The Year of the Customer - Are You Ready?
? 2009 - The Year of the Customer - Are You Ready?
Even in a recession, when businesses are closing and people are being laid off, customer service is STILL terrible! How can this be? This should be a top priority all the time, but especially in tough times. Here are tips to improve your customer service before it's too late:
1.) Be friendly. What happens to customers when they enter your business? Is there a gate keeper or a host? Gate keepers keep people out, hosts make people feel...
•Things Work Out for the Best
You know that annoying saying "Things always work out for the best?" It's something motivational speakers like me say from the podium when we're trying to help people deal with the bad things that happen to them. And a lot of people might think it's Pollyannaish BS.
Well, let me share my recent example.
I'm single and the holidays can be lonely. So several years ago I decided to start taking great trips during those holidays. It's a slow time business-wise, so it's been a fantastic solution....
•How to Finally Get It Done
I have a confession to make. I am a procrastinator. I can find a reason to do just about anything other than the tasks I dread. For example, I should be getting a mailing out right now, but I am writing this article. However, I recently completed a ton of tasks I had been putting off. How I did it may help the rest of you procrastinators.
1.) Just start. That's it - just get started. Pick up one stack to sort or one drawer to clean out. Just take one step on your new walking program....
•The Agony and the Ecstasy of Saying No
Most of us women have a hard time saying no. It's one of those things we over think. We worry about how the other person will feel - will we hurt their feelings? Will they feel rejected? We even take into account society at large - will we seem like a bad person? We wind up saying yes when what we really want to say is no. Sometimes hell no.
I'm terrible at this. It's hard for me to tell a man I've just had a first date with, when he hopefully says, "Would you like to go out again?",...
•How to Get Motivated
Most of the articles I see that discuss motivation talk about sports. But we average Joes and Jills are not playing sports. We just have to get out of bed everyday, go to work, and try to live. We don't have a coach working with us and a bunch of fans cheering us on. There are no big endorsement contracts, no uniforms, and seldom the thrill of victory. How do we find motivation?
It seems to me that most people want to find the motivation to do something (or to stop doing something). Let...
•Increase Your Happiness
The eternal search for happiness - we want it, but we seem wired more for dissatisfaction. We get something we think will make us happy and soon we're looking for the next thing. Somehow human achievement and happiness don't seem to fit together. If I'm always working to be more, to grow, how can I just be happy?
I struggle with this all the time myself. And I have some ideas that might help.
1.) Stop trying to have it all, do it all, be it all. You can't. You're going to have to decide what...
•Why Your New Year's Resolutions Won't Stick
Some people won't even make New Year's resolutions anymore. Not because they don't want to improve their lives, but because they've tried and failed so many times, they've given up. It's not the resolution maker who's the failure, it's the methodology we've been using to try and bring about radical change in our lives.
To add something to your life, you have to give something up. I believe this is the number one reason why most people fail at changing their lives. They don't want to give...
•How to Find Yourself
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting." - E.E. Cummings
I believe no truer words were ever spoken. It is so hard to remain true to yourself if every message you hear, every person you know, everything you read, tell you you should be something else. In this great cacophony, it is all but impossible to hear that tiny voice inside you...
•How to Conquer Fear
Fear keeps our lives small. You only grow by conquering your fear. If you had only a year to live, would you change anything? Would you keep working at the same job? Spend time with the same people? Are there places you've always dreamed of seeing you would visit?
Why aren't you doing or planning for those things now? No one knows how long they have to live. We go through life as if we have forever, putting off the things we dream about until the magical time of retirement. I don't know about...
•How to Kick Recession Depression
Okay, okay I finally have to admit itthe economy is kind of crappy right now. And it's scary (not that the media isn't fanning those flames just a bit). People are afraid they might lose their jobs, entrepreneurs are afraid they might lose their businesses, people are afraid they might lose their homes. So what to do?
1.) Tattoo the serenity prayer in a prominent place on your body. Refer to it often. Remind yourself that there's a lot you can't control and let it go. But there are...
•How to Love Your Job
We spend 60% of our time at work. Many people hate their jobs. Don't be one of them! Use these tips to help you find a way to love your job.
1.) Do what you love or find some aspect of your current job that you love. Or quit complaining and find another job. Of course, you can do none of this and stay where you are, hate every minute of it, and lead a miserable life. But I want more for you.
Those of us who do what we love are lucky. But some of you have not found what you love yet or are...
•Nine Networking Tips (Quit Wasting Your Time!)
Nine Networking Tips (Quit Wasting Your Time!) Want to build your network? Here are some quick tips:
Show up! Attend at least two networking events a month. But show up at the right place. Make sure the people there are those you need to meet, otherwise you're wasting time. Example if you want to meet prospects to buy your industrial widgets, attending a garden club meeting doesn't count. Attend if you enjoy the club, but don't kid yourself.
Don't hang out with those you already know. If...
•Sales Lessons from the Auto Industry
Back in 2005, my little red Celica gave up the ghost. I loved that car, but after 178,000 miles in four years, it was time to get a new vehicle. Since it had been such a great car, I decided to simply get a new one. I walked into the Toyota dealership ready to buy. It was then that my nightmare began. Here's what I learned:
1) Poor greetings anger the customer. I walked straight into the dealership, dressed nicely, with checkbook in hand. No one greeted me. Several salesmen avoided eye...
•Life Lessons from Death
Life is good at teaching us lessons - keeping us on our toes when things get too easy.
Like many of you, I called my Mom in May to wish her a happy Mother's Day. She told me she had a cold that just wouldn't go away. She had finally been to the doctor about it, and he ran some tests. Four days later we found out she had liver cancer. My mother died in two weeks.
I still can't really believe she's gone - it happened so quickly. But that's the way life is sometimes, and sometimes it takes a...
•Stop Being a Victim
The foundation for living a great life rests on one vital principle: You are responsible. Yep, that's right - you are responsible. Unhappy in your job? You took the job, you choose to remain in the job, and you are choosing to be miserable about it. Overweight? No one force fed you all that food. In debt? Guess who spent more money then they could afford? In a bad relationship? You keep showing up.
The first step in improving any of these situations (or countless others we could name) is...
•Why People Hate Training
Most employees view training as medicine or worse, as punishment. As an outside trainer, I work with hundreds of groups in a wide variety of industries and most people enter the training room as if they are going to the gas chamber. They might not expect death, but clearly some horrible form of torture. There are exceptions to this rule, but they are few and far between. Why is this and what can we do about it?
It starts at the top. Too many times managers blow off the session because they...
•The Going is Tough - Get Going!
It's easy for successful businesses to coast - to keep doing what they've always been doing. But the world is changing at a breakneck pace and you can't continue to be successful if you stay the same. Here are some tips to keep you up to speed:
Update your marketing materials. I think this should be done at least every five years. Photos need to be reshot, colors and fonts updated, layout styles changed. What was cutting edge in 1995 isn't in 2009. And I don't care how many boxes of the...
•How to Deal with Rejection
Ouch - we all hate it when we're rejected. Fear of rejection stops salespeople from asking for the sale. It stops us from reaching out to new friends and associates. It stops families from coming together. It even stops us from pursuing our dreams.
Rejection is a given - no matter how fabulous you are, you will at some point be rejected. What's not a given (and where your power lies) is how you react to rejection. Here are some tips to keep rejection in its place:
1.) Realize it's not about...
•Why Customer Service is so Bad
We all frequent a lot of businesses; most have so-so customer service at best. (But not if you hear their advertising! Customer service is always outstanding!) We've become used to clerks who seem put out if they actually have to help us, and we even find ourselves feeling bad if we have to ask for their help! Customer service has become customer guilt trip. Sure, we all know there are tough customers - but the majority are nice folks who just want the products or services each company is...
•Fall - Time to Change YOUR Leaves?
? Fall is one of my favorite times of yearthe temp starts dropping, the air gets crisp, the trees put on a glorious display of colorI love it! I also think it's a great time to drop what's not working for you. If trees can let go of every leaf, why can't we let go of what no longer serves us? Here are some possibilities: excess weight, too much clutter, bad relationships, bad habits, bad debt. Just how long are you planning on carrying those dead leaves around? And you know that you can't...
•Motivation by Chocolate
1.) Nothing worth having is ever easy. I had no idea how hard it was to figure out how to make chocolate and once figured out, how difficult to turn it into the amazing treat we now love! The beans only grow in a certain part of the world, and the trees are very fragile and hard to cultivate. Once you manage to grow cocoa trees, the beans are harvested, roasted and shelled, then ground to form cocoa liquor. The liquor is pressed to squeeze out the cocoa butter. Later the cocoa butter gets...
•You're Texting So Loudly I Can't Hear What You're Saying
Vail Carter with the Centralina Workforce Development Board shared with me the results of a survey of over 330 firms in North Carolina. One of the items asked about current skills needs. Number one was communication and interpersonal skills. (Second was leadership and third was customer serviceand let's face it, success in these areas requires good communication and interpersonal skills!) With all the electronic methods of communication, many younger people need a refresher course on...
•Leadership Lessons from the Kings of Chocolate
Milton Hershey and Forrest Mars were different types of leaders who both built successful companies. We can learn much from them:
1.) There's no one way to lead. Milton was a dreamer; he wanted to build a worker's utopia. His people loved him. He ran his business with his heart. Mars was a tyrant with an obsession for quality. His people feared him, but he paid incredibly well and was driven to achieve excellence. He ran his business with his head. Don't lock your leaders (or yourself)...
•Death by (Electronic) Chocolate
Death by (Electronic) Chocolate It's too much!! There's just too much!! I'm drowning, I'm overwhelmed, I'm going under!! Throw me a strawberry!
First everyone said I should start a blog (that was about five years ago, the technology train long left the station without me). I finally do it and now it's pod casting, and linking to other blogs and sites, and social networking, and live feeds and on, and on, and on! How do people have time to actually do any work anymore? Trying to get your...
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