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Most people don't like to plan ahead. Perhaps it is in our very nature to avoid having to make estate plans, for fear of facing our own mortality, if we talk about the "D" word. Maybe if we keep quiet, it will just go away. It is the proverbial "elephant in the room" no one ever wants to talk about. We are now at a point in our lives, and with our massive aging population, that forces us to think about planning ahead and many other challenging issues and decisions with our loved ones.
A common...
•Give the Gift of Preserving Your Family History
Today, like any other day, I walked out to my mailbox and found an envelope from my elderly father. I can't remember receiving much mail from Dad in the past; it has always been Mom who sent me things. But it was Dad's handwriting, and I have been worried because he hasn't been well. I opened the letter not knowing quite what to expect. Much to my surprise, I found the following letter along with a handful of photographs that had been enlarged:
Dear Julie,
I am enclosing several enlargements...
•10 Ways To Help Your Elderly Parents Before A Crisis
Here are 10 ways that you can be proactive and and take action now to help de-clutter your parents' home. Do this now for their sake, and for your own sake. I can tell you from personal experience: you do not want to have to do this in "crisis mode."
1. Have the important conversations with your parents. Approach them with love and ask them about their wishes. Try to gain an understanding of their financial situation. Be sure to know where all the important legal documents are kept. Are the...
•Twelve Keys to Success For Every Entrepreneur
Nineteen years ago, I had this crazy idea sitting at my corporate desk that if I was going to work this hard for them, I might as well work that hard for myself. I kept thinking to myself, "Julie, how can you even think of this - you must be off your rocker to consider leaving the reliability of a paycheck and benefits." But it was like a lightning bolt from the sky - an intense thought that grabbed hold of this young woman at the exuberant age of 28, and it never let go. They say this is the...
•How to Care For Yourself While Caring For Others
I find it hard to believe there is actually a word in the English language that could possibly describe what caregivers go through. There can't be! The experiences during the process of caregiving are often a deep, emotional shift accompanied by confusion, frustration, and even resentment for many. Somewhere along the line, one loses oneself, and their individuality blurs with the needs of the loved one.
Most are caregivers out of love and affection, and others caregive because it is not...
•'Til Death Do Us Part
Most of us enjoy hearing those words, 'Til Death Do Us Part, during a wedding ceremony, where the new couple is floating in bliss, and they envision being by each other's side until death separates them. From my perspective, however, I see people who have a very passionate relationship with their material possessions, sometimes more so than with each other! If I didn't know any better, I would say they feel confident that they can take their possessions with them when they leave this earth. I'm...
•Early Signs on the Road of Aging -- 17 Signs For Boomers to Notice About Their Parents
Right now, your gut may be telling you something is amiss with one or both of your parents. Feelings of frustration, panic, and being overwhelmed accompany these thoughts, and before long, your head begins to spin with the thoughts of "Where do I begin?" and "What if...?" You need to decide right now that you will actively manage this challenge rather than being passive and letting it manage you.
We see the early signs of aging and tend to ignore them for a lot of reasons. For one thing, we...
•Intangible Gifts Bring Joy In A Difficult Economy
As an expert in personal property, my days are filled with visiting estates, consulting with my clients, and ascertaining what has value versus what does not. I help Boomer children make sound estate decisions after mom and dad have passed on. Also, I work closely with seniors helping them make a plan for their heirlooms, and appraising the worth of their collectibles.
My world revolves around beautiful things and what each item may be worth. Sadly, I have to watch people fight over them after...
•Enough Stuff Already! How to Help Your Elderly Parents (and Yourself) Pare Down
In twenty years of helping people settle their estates, one glaring fact always stands out: we have way too much stuff! Just start poking around your closets, under the beds, up in the attics or your garage, and you'll agree. Our overstuffed and cluttered homes, and garages that can't hold our cars, have created a new industry: professional organizers; thank goodness for them. Let's not forget the good reason why all of these storage companies keep going up across your city. People can't seem...
•Opposite Reactions by Boomer Children to Aging Parents, Their Care, Their Estates
Every day is a different family and different scenarios, yet so many of them seem to have similarities. Working with Boomer children has been educational. For example, you may have a scenario with one parent already passed away, and the only remaining parent is showing signs of illness and fragility. The children are concerned that mom can no longer care for herself, or perhaps they simply want mom in a safe environment surrounded by professionals who can give her the care she requires around...
•Beware - Selling And Downsizing Tips For Personal Property
Everyone has heard the term "Buyer Beware." In my business of helping people downsize their homes and possessions, it should be "Seller Beware."
From family to professionals, there are individuals of all shapes and sizes who prosper from taking advantage of older adults faced with the need to downsize. I could write a book as lengthy as Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace about the personalities that I have encountered in my career who have contributed to this sham. My only regret is that Leo used...
•Death Bed Thief
Exploitation can raise its ugly head in the midst of unsuspecting situations. Such was the case with the Garvey family (not real name). Mom and Dad Garvey were about the nicest people you'd ever wish to meet. Their three adult children lived nearby; they loved to have all the grandchildren over for Sunday dinners. All of the children were successful, and the family often took vacations together. As Mom Garvey shared with me, she could not recall one moment of discord between her kids.
Dad...
•"Gifting" Prior to Death Brings Joy and Peace of Mind to Both Givers and Receivers
Fighting, unpleasantries, resentment, jealousy, greed, entitlement, "he said - she said."
What causes these, or at the very least, inflames them? A lack of planning. It's alive and well for those who refuse to plan for their demise, or simply may not know how to plan. Since the beginning of time, there has been a battle between the good and the bad, and it will continue as long as humans are alive, but it doesn't have to be this way. There are solutions for those who desire to leave a legacy...
•The Importance of Personal Property in Estate Planning and Estate Settlement
For the next several years, the United States is going to be inundated with the largest demographic of older people joining the ranks of "seniors" that this country has ever experienced.
This new trend signals dynamic changes for estate planning and estate dispositions. In the last three years, a paradigm shift has occurred in the personal property business. The multitude of inquiries are now from Boomers asking for help with their parents' personal property appraisals or estate clean outs....
•Divide the Pieces of Your Estate With Peace of Mind
"I don't know what to do," the kind older gentleman confided to me. "Both of my sons want my antique Civil War gun after I'm gone, and I don't want to choose which son gets it, because they will get upset. They are both already fighting over it. What do I do?"
For the past eighteen years, I have worked in an industry that helps seniors decide what to do with all the stuff they have accumulated. As a personal property expert, I'm able to keep them from throwing away the hidden treasures; like...
•When Reality Sets in -- Dealing With the Stuff in the Family Home After the Loss of Your Parents
It had been a week since Dad's funeral, and life was getting back to normal for Sharon. Despite the sadness of the occasion, it had been nice to be with her brother and sister and their families. She hadn't been to her dad's house since he went into the hospital. She dreaded walking into the empty house, knowing it contained a flood of memories. As she got in her car to drive across town to the house she grew up in, the lump in her throat grew. She thought about all the happy times around the...
•Guiding Grieving Families in Dealing With a Lifetime of Possessions
The scene is familiar to Boomer children: A house chock full of stuff when they walk in their parents' home. Table tops are covered with treasured knick-knacks, photographs of generations gone by; bookshelves are filled with books that haven't been opened since we were in junior high. Even our childhood bedrooms remain the same, frozen as if we were still there. It is a nostalgic reminder of what used to be.
Depression-era Americans saved almost everything: Cool Whip containers, bread twister...
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