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? Copyright (c) 2011 Katherine Bouglai
So you have been together with your boyfriend for several years, you want to get married but he just wouldn't propose. Your biological clock is ticking and you are concerned about your future with this man. You are wondering, where this relationship is going and sometimes even whether or not you should stay in it. If you can relate, this article may be for you.
Several years ago I was in a relationship with a guy I thought I was in love with. Though...
•Do You Have a Dating Plan?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
I like to classify three different ways to meet other singles, the spontaneous way, over time and by a setup. The spontaneous way is where two people meet spontaneously without expecting it to happen. This is how people typically meet in romantic movies.
However, what's more common in real life is when people meet over time at work, college, or regular, ongoing groups or classes. Over time usually implies you typically start off as friends and over a...
•How Do You Know If You're Dating an Emotionally Unavailable Man (or Woman)?
(or Woman)? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
In this article I would like to describe some basic characteristics of an emotionally unavailable person. Let these serve you as red flags when you're dating, to watch out for before you get too involved.
Many clients and friends ask me, how do I know if the person I am dating is a player or emotionally unavailable? Understandably, you don't want your heart to be involved too much when you're dating someone, only to realize the person is...
•If You Want To Stop Attracting Unavailable Partners, You Have To Stop Being Unavailable Yourself.
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
Are you tired of dating emotionally unavailable people? Don't you wonder why you keep attracting them over and over again? The question I have for you is, how available do you make yourself to people you date? Because if you truly are available to yourself and others, people who make themselves unavailable would not interest you one bit.
The word available is actually very powerful and a key to a successful relationship in your future. Since you are...
•Is There a Secret Formula Behind Flirting?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
Some people think there is some kind of secret behind flirting and they want to do it just right. In fact, I even met other dating consultants who specialize in teaching others how to flirt. I found this idea peculiar and through about it for a while. Is there some kind of magic formula to flirting? I personally don't think so.
One thing I can tell you for sure is that flirting has to be natural. The worst thing you can do is try to mimic someone else's...
•Which speed-dating services are good, and which ones are to avoid.
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
I know many of you are open and curious to try out dating services, especially the ones you haven't worked with before. New things are always exciting! But watch out, they are not all the same as far as quality and getting what you're looking for. It is absolutely crucial that you choose well reputable services when you decide to do online dating or speed dating. I would hate to see you making a conclusion that online dating is not for you just because you...
•The Difference Between The Vision And The Fantasy
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
When I first learned about The Secret and the Law of Attraction, I was suffering from fantasy addiction. I used to fantasize about some guy at work or class I was taking and wonder if I could manifest my dreams about this guy into a reality. Never happened. I wondered if perhaps Law of Attraction worked in every other area my life but romance. Now I know the real reason. Law of Attraction does not work with fantasies.
In order to manifest what we want in...
•Why Is It Important to Be Aware of Your Past Relationship Baggage?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
Most of you have probably heard the term "past relationship baggage." No matter how many times we hear people say "I don't want to be with anyone with the baggage" we hardly ever acknowledge the fact that we are the ones who still carry our baggage around. Some people's baggage is heavier than others, but the truth is, we all have it until we properly deal with it. The only people who don't have the baggage are children before they enter the adolescent...
•What Is The Dating Like Where You Live?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
It is funny how many times I have heard comments like "are you a dating coach? Wow, you must be really busy in LA" or "Do I have to move to another city to find the right woman?" First of all there are many people in Los Angeles who are happily married. Second, my clients are from all over the world and most of them are not in LA. And finally, people from other regions say pretty much the same thing about the city or the small towns they live in - it is...
•The Importance of Knowing Your Needs And Values Before Entering Your Next Relationship.
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
Your values are your gold that you will be sharing with your next partner, something he or she will respect and honor you for. Your needs on the other hand are something for you to be aware of to make sure you don't depend on your next partner for. Plus, it will help to know what your needs are so you can pick your next partner who can meet them.
Each relationship in your past, regardless of how long it lasted or how long ago it ended has carried a deep...
•Do You Think Your Dating Standards Are Too High?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
When I talk to other singles, I often hear them say "I am single because I am too picky" or "my standards are too high." And when I ask them to tell me more about it, I find nothing unusually high about their standards. My suspicion tells me that there truly is nothing wrong with their standards. The real problem is their inner critic or the voice in their head that judges their own standards.
Whether you are aware of it or not, this self-talk is...
•Are You Ready For Your Ideal Relationship?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
What does it take to be ready for a new relationship? Some people have a tendency to jump into a new relationship too soon wondering why it doesn't work out for them in the end. While others let the fear of intimacy take over and keep themselves single saying they are not ready. This article will outline three major points of what it takes to be ready and hopefully give you an idea of where you stand.
This is a good question, what does it take to be...
•Moving Through the Pain of Past Relationship Breakup.
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
Whether you were the one to break up with someone or your ex has broken up with you, you need to give yourself the honor of grief over the loss of love. You are not doing it for them you are doing it for you. If you don't take the time to grief, the consequences are even more painful when it comes to future relationships. Read on to find out more.
Have you ever had to break up with someone? Even though you may have still had feelings for that person,...
•I Am So Sick of Being Rejected by Men/Women, How Do I Deal With That?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
Every time you ask for something you really want, you are not only taking a chance for yourself, you are giving other people the chance to say yes or no to you. Some people don't like to be pressured into this choice as they are afraid to say no, so they give you their answer indirectly. Either way, we associate the "no" response with rejection and attach it to the idea that we are not good enough. Learn how you can change this approach.
Why does it...
•This Relationship Is Not Working For Me, But I Am Choosing to Stick Around Anyway
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
When people come to me with questions and complaints about their current relationships, the first thing I do is ask them to set their situation aside just for a few moments and tell me what their ideal relationship looks like. Then, after they describe their ideal relationship, I ask them how this particular one fits into the ideal picture they just described. For most people this becomes a moment of realization.
A few people I meet still choose to argue...
•How Do I Know If I Am Being Too Desperate?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
Most dating experts will tell you that if you are being too desperate on your dates, it can potentially push your partner away. Since we all know that, we desperately try not to be desperate, sometimes even to the point that we appear uninterested. And that can potentially cause our date to lose interest in us. The question is, where do you find that golden middle where we are just interested enough not to scare off the person we like?
Have you ever felt...
•Letting Go of Fantasies and Expectations When Dating
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
It is almost impossible not to have expectations when you first start dating new people. If you go online and see a photo of someone you really like, you naturally form expectations about what this person will look like when you see them. When you read their profile, it is hard not to create an idea in your head of who they are as a person. Even if they just said a few words about themselves, which I personally don't recommend they do, their energy and...
•The Importance of Confidence and Self-Esteem in Attracting Your Ideal Relationship.
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
Self-esteem is probably the easiest thing to raise. All you have to do is find the source to tell you that you are worth it and believe it. It can either be in the form of affirmation or someone you trust can tell you yes, you are worth it. If you want it you can have it all. As soon as you start believing you deserve it, your self-esteem goes up and you feel great about yourself. Confidence is all about believing that you can actually get what you...
•I Do Not Have Time for Relationship or Dating.
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
When I talk to singles these days, I hear a lot of them giving me the same excuse over and over again: "I don't have time for relationship or dating." That's right, you heard me, it is an excuse. It is based on a lie that you have chosen to believe for some reason. It is easy to say because it keeps you protected from the pain and discomfort of going out on dates, having to set your boundaries or feeling the disappointment of rejection. It is so easy to...
•Why Am I Attracted to The Wrong Kind and How Can I Change That?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
Do you typically find yourself being attracted to the wrong man or woman? Do you feel like you are drawn to people who have emotional issues, drug or alcohol problems or people who are afraid of commitment? If you can identify, this article may be of value to you.
It is not uncommon for me to come across clients who tell me that they have a pattern of personality they are typically attracted to. Sometimes they are attracted to people who have various...
•How Compatible Do You Have to Be With Your Partner?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
Someone has recently asked me the following question:"If two people are really in love but are not compatible, can the relationship work?" Well, that actually really depends on what you mean by compatibility.
Six months into the relationship, after all the dancing hormones of sexual chemistry between me and my ex-boyfriend have settled down it was clear to both of us that we were not compatible. In spite of all the disagreements we've had I still...
•How to Attract a Committed Partner for Your Ideal Relationship
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
Too many of us have experienced being attracted to emotionally unavailable. We know how painful and frustrating it is to try to convince someone to commit to us whose heart isn't fully there. Yet, we see other amazing couples out there who form true partnerships we could only dream of. Why does it happen to them but not to us? What is it that they are doing? What does she have that I don't? What is wrong with me that I cannot attract someone who...
•Which Part of Yourself Are You Taking on a Date With You?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
I was raised by a single mother who was looking to meet a man and get married. I remember, every time before she invited a guy over to her house she would tell me to behave myself and be a good girl. Sometimes when she really liked a guy I was given more specific instructions on how to behave, but I was never encouraged to be myself. The message I got from being brought up like that was that men will only like me if I behave a certain way. I carried this...
•Creating Your Ideal Online Dating Profile.
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
An ideal profile would have your most recent photo that shows you in a best way, as close to what you look like in real life as possible and one or two paragraphs that would compliment your photo, describing exactly who you are and what you want in your ideal relationship. If you really think about it, your goal is to attract your ideal mate, not to get as many replies as possible. If you post a deceiving photo that hides what you think your imperfections...
•Are You a Happy Single?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
They say in order to attract a happy relationship one must first learn how to be happy in solitude. Yet it is not uncommon for most singles to feel lonely and grow a belief that once they find someone special, their life would change and only then they can be happy. Learn some tips on how to be a happy single from this article.
Sometimes when you struggle and your life doesn't seem to go the way you want it to, it is hard to be happy. Many of us have set...
•Overcoming Fear of Rejection
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
Fear of rejection comes up in all areas of our life, career move, your work reviews, buying a house, making new friends and of course dating and romance. As I can't possibly talk about all of them in this article, as a singles coach I will primarily focus on the subject of dating and searching for love. I will also leave the subject of long term relationship breakups for another article in the future. Let's talk about what happens when someone you're...
•Dealing With Awkwardness On A Date
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
It is so natural and normal to feel awkward on a date, the dating package comes with feeling uncomfortable the same way roses come with thorns. There is simply no way around it, unless you've only been dating your high school sweetheart and only had one relationship in your life. Even then, I bet there probably were some awkward moments when you first met.
Awkwardness on a date usually means that you're feeling some kind of pressure. Usually you are...
•Define your dating purpose
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
We all know that the reason why we date is ultimately to find a relationship. For some people dating is enjoyable, others perceive it as an equivalent to torture. People who enjoy dating a lot have a tendency to stay single and date longer and have harder time settling down. While those who say they hate dating ironically dislike it for this very reason - they have hard time finding the right person to be in a relationship with. So the question is: how...
•Staying personally empowered is the key to transforming your dating experience.
Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
Let me clarify exactly what I mean about staying in your power. I am talking about the program I'm developing which is called 7 Steps to Personal Empowerment. Steps 1 and 2, which mainly prepare you to go out there: in step one you're learning about yourself and what you want in your life and relationship and step 2 is about developing a belief that you CAN have what you want. Steps 3 through 6 are about going out there after your dream. The way that...
•Single on Valentines Day? No worries, there are ways to make it fun.
Single on Valentines Day? No worries, there are ways to make it fun. Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
If you're single and hate that time of the year, when the festivities of Christmas lights and New Year's champagne parties are over and the local stores get filled up with pink and red hearts everywhere, you're not alone. In fact, I don't think I ever met anyone who has never been single on Valentine's Day. And if those few people just happen to be out there, well then they probably...
•Why do you believe all the good ones are taken?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
It is shocking how many singles use the statement "All the good ones are taken" and how many of them really believe it to be true. No wonder, if your friends confirm it to you and you go out there only to see it for yourself it becomes hard not to believe it. Yet, people keep meeting someone special and getting into loving committed relationships every day. You may wonder what their secret is, I tell you what. They probably have a different belief, the...
•Do you have resistance to dating?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Katherine Bouglai
You are single and looking, you know you want to be in a committed relationship, yet the idea of dating makes you want to crawl under your blankets and come up with thousands of excuses why you're not ready to see anybody right now. Sounds familiar? The truth is, every relationship has to start with dating and you know it. But you still don't want to do it. Learn how you can overcome this fear and put yourself out there no matter what.
I often hear...
•Three main components of a healthy relationship.
Copyright (c) 2009 Katherine Bouglai
There has been a great deal of information out there about dysfunctional relationships, obsessions with emotionally unavailable people, co-dependence etc. When you become too familiar with what feels wrong, it gets hard to distinguish what's right. In this article I would like to talk about what healthy relationship looks like.
A healthy relationship needs to have 3 major components in order to function: Companionship, Security and Reciprocity. The...
•Did you know fantasy can be addictive?
? Copyright (c) 2009 Katherine Bouglai
Have you ever been in love with someone who doesn't seem to even notice you exist? You go home and fantasize about him or her being in a relationship with you. Then the next day you see this person in real life only to realize that you can't even talk to each other. You know she is unavailable and you don't want to take any chances. Or perhaps you already took your chances and it didn't work out to your advantage. You may even feel uncomfortable in each...
•5 Types of emotionally unavailable people.
Copyright (c) 2009 Katherine Bouglai
As mentioned before, one thing all emotionally unavailable people have in common is their compulsive avoidance of intimacy while they constantly keep looking for an intimate relationship. An emotionally unavailable person is never clear about being unavailable for a relationship. Even though they may verbally express where they stand, their behavior often suggests otherwise, giving out many confusing mixed messages. Let's explore a little bit more how...
•How to take care of yourself when you are attached to emotionally unavailable men.
Copyright (c) 2009 Katherine Bouglai
You may clearly know what you want in a relationship, yet you keep choosing the "wrong" guy over and over again. You know you want love, honesty, commitment and respect, yet all you keep getting are lies, betrayals, secrets and no phone calls. Why is that so? And do you think you have the power to change anything? Find out in this article.
Why is that so? Actually there is a good reason why you do what you do. It's all about your needs. You stay with...
•The lure of emotionally unavailable
Have you ever found yourself stuck in a situation where you desperately want to be in a relationship with someone who isn't quite there for you? This person is willing to be your friend and share the deepest secrets of their heart with you wouldn't go on a date with you. Or they will sleep with you and even have dinner with you every now and then but wouldn't consider the two of you together as a couple. You could really enjoy each other's company, the chemistry between you is amazing, and...
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