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Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
You may not be having kind thoughts about your spouse when you are getting divorced. You may forget that you are on a public forum when you post on Twitter or Facebook. However, if you get too comfortable displaying your less than savory tendencies, you might find yourself on the losing end of a custody fight, a property dispute, or a decision about paying marital debts. No, what you say when you're not under oath isn't evidence. It is when you have...
•Force Your Spouse To Answer Your Questions About Marital Assets Through Discovery
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
If your spouse was the one who managed property and debts in your marriage, you can find yourself struggling to get your share of property when you get divorced. It is important for you to know what you own, and how much debt is outstanding against it so your spouse can't cheat you by lying to the court.
If you are extremely rich, and haven't been married very long, it may be possible to squirrel away assets and have your spouse be none the wiser....
•Divorce: The Kids Should Be Friends With All Of You
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
After the divorce, where the kids live is still an emotional issue. Parents feel special grief and stress when a new person enters the picture as a significant other to the ex-spouse. Of course, there is often left over hostility from the divorce, but there is also genuine fear of the new person's place in the child's life.
Too often, the new lover is well aware that he is a replacement for the ex. Consequently, he is defensive and territorial about...
•Child Custody: Get The Information You Need Before You Get To Court
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
Learn as much as you can about your kids if you want custody. The judge needs to know that you are a daily participant in their lives. You should know who cares for them, and what they need. . Here are some of the places you can get information.
1. School:
If you know anything about your child's accademic career, you should know who is teaching him. You should know what grades he is getting, and what was said at the last parent / teacher meeting....
•Don't Let Your Sadness Ruin Your Life
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
Anyone who has ever felt alone or hopeless knows that feelings of sadness and depression are real, and not imaginary. When you feel lonely, your pain can be magnified because of the things that go on in your mind.
We used to have a next door neighbor who lived in her big house by herself. She didn't drive, and she never went anywhere. I don't know how she got her groceries or did anything she had to do with the outside world. I saw her in her back...
•Tell The Truth, Or Someone Will Tell It For You
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
Am I the only one who is interested in this case? That is the question I would have asked if I wasn't so darn polite. After all, he paid me to help him out, and I assumed he would help me do just that.
My client came to me complaining that he was sure his 4 year old son was being sexually abused. The little boy was wetting his pants, and trying to hump his little brother. He said that a big boy had had him "suck his winkie", and so his father and...
•5 Ways You Can Help Your Divorce Lawyer Prepare For Court
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
Your lawyer should be prepared for your case. She should know what documents are important, and generally what questions each witness needs to answer. However, it is equally important for you to know your own business. If you prepare for court, you will better be able to make sure the judge hears everything he needs to know to make a fair decision.
The most important thing you can do is have the same file as your attorney. Keep the originals of all...
•Divorce Court: 5 Tips To Give You A Leg Up
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
I was never a fan of stuffy people. When I was a child, I took special pleasure in offending the sensibilities of the righteous. Teachers, and anyone else who struck me as snooty, were the best targets for my warped and sometimes wildly inappropriate sense of humor.
Not much has changed since I was young. I'd like to say that is because not much time has passed since then, but I never tell a lie even I find unbelievable. I still like to give...
•Do You Really Think He Can Read Your Mind
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
You're not made of glass. This is a good thing, because you might break into a million pieces every time you roll over in bed. That would hurt, and you could cut yourself on yourself when you got up in the morning.
This is circular logic. It doesn't make much sense, either. Unfortunately, it illustrates the way married people often communicate with each other.
Maybe a simpler way to put it is that people can't read your mind. Even if whatever you...
•Divorce: If You're Not Fighting, You May Be Able To Represent Yourself
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
You're broke, and both of you want your marriage to end. You can hire a divorce lawyer, or represent yourself in court. A lot of folks are doing their own paperwork to end their marriages. Still, there are some things you should consider before trying to represent yourselves.
Do you have anything to fight about? In many divorces, the parties end up hiring divorce lawyers and spending a lot of money when they don't have very much to lose. If you...
•Tell The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth? Maybe Not
Tell The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth? Maybe Not Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
Should you always tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? If you don't want anyone in your life, you could say honesty is the best policy no matter what. However, there are sometimes when maybe a little white lie might save your relationship. Here are a few things that might help you decide whether the truth is useful or just plain mean.
1. Has your advice...
•Jealous? You're Not In Control If You Are
Jealous? You're Not In Control If You Are Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
What is jealousy? It is that gnawing feeling that a person you want in a certain way prefers another. It is an awful feeling even if it isn't justified. Before you assume your friend or lover is doing you wrong, check your own expectations. If you can understand what you think should be, you might better understand what is.
Do you think your partner should be happy with just you? We all need other...
•Starting Over: Learn From Your Past, But Forgive Your Mistakes
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
It takes two to keep a marriage together. If your spouse doesn't cooperate, reconciliation may not be in the cards. That hurts, and there is little you can do to change things. However, even if your actions caused the problem, don't feel you can't make your future better.
It is far too easy to let the judgments of other people decide how you accept life's set backs. When your spouse no longer wants you in his / her life, it is a harsh judgment, and...
•Yes, Your Honor Is The State, And I'm The Walrus
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
If you had the dubious pleasure of knowing me, , you would also know that the gov'ment and I aren't the best of friends. I get along fine with some government workers. I can think of a couple of judges who don't honk me off. And, yes, I do actually go to their courts. But, this guy really got on my ... well, ... not my Christmas list.
My client had been charged with a DUI, which is legalese for driving with an unlawful blood alcohol ratio. It is a...
•Child Custody: Is Hiring A Guardian Ad Litem A Good Idea?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
Is hiring a guardian ad litem a good idea in a custody case? If you had asked me that a year ago, I would have given a resounding "yes". Now, I've had an experience that have caused me to rethink my opinion.
The function of a guardian ad litem, or "GAL" is to represent the interests of a person with a legal disability in court. Some appointments take place in divorce cases where the custody of children is at issue. Sometimes, a GAL is selected to...
•Divorce: You Have To Help Your Kids, But Lick Your Own Wounds, Too
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
Kids do cause a lot of stress. When the little dears are asleep and all you have to worry about is whether or not they've kicked their blankets off, they're not so bad. The rest of the time, they are awake. Then, if there is a way to be loud and annoying, a kid can find it.
Kids who are unhappy with their parent's divorce can be especially difficult. Not only must a parent cope with his / her own doubts and fears, they must try to manage the...
•Child Custody: Keeping The Peace For Your Child's Sake
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
You may hate your ex, and be justified. But, your kids need both of you, and your attitude towards him could be damaging to them while they are growing up. Some of the things you might consider follow:
1. The child didn't have anything to do with your divorce. He doesn't understand why you can't or won't live together. He would like to know both of you, and wants to feel free to love each parent.
If you and your ex can't be in the same room without...
•Divorce: Believe It Or Not, You Can Begin Again
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
The end of a marriage can be very lonely. Since you aren't used to being by yourself, losing your spouse can feel doubly scary. There is no magic bullet to calm your fears, but there are things you can do to start the healing process.
1. Take a vacation. If you can't afford a lot of money, check into a tour group. If nothing else, check in with an old friend or visit a relative you haven't seen in a long time. Whatever you do, a change of scenery...
•Child Custody: If The Parents Don't Make The Decision, The Child Could Suffer
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
My clients have hired guardian ad litems who have done a good job of investigating their custody claims. However, they have also been ripped off by people who take sides, and judges who don't think for themselves. The result can be that a child ends up in a situation that is not necessarily in her best interest, and that can be down right damaging.
As I said, not all "GALs" are bad. I had one recently who did a good job. His report was not in my...
•Divorce: 5 Ways Your Testamony Can Best Help
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
You are most likely on the side of the person who called you as a witness in a divorce. After all, the person who asked for your help is probably your friend, relative or employer. It would be natural for your loyalties to be with them.
If you are a brother, sister, mother or father, your whole family could be effected by the court's decision. If you are a teacher or day care provider, you may feel closer to the parent you know better. Regardless...
•Divorce: Remember, Your Kids Are Watching How You Act
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
Remember, your kids are watching. They see how you are handling things, and they understand that that is the way to do it. This is great if you are always showing them good habits, but it can be destructive if you forget what they are taking away from your actions.
In divorce, it is far too easy to blame all of the bad things on the other person. Your kids watch you react to your ex-spouse, and assume that you are teaching them something they should...
•Child Custody: When Should I Ask for a Change?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
There are things you should think about before going after custody modification. Too many times, people ask the court to change custody of a child, and only end up frustrated and broke for their efforts. Here are some questions you should ask before you proceed.
1. How long has it been since your divorce?
If your divorce was recent, it is unlikely the court will change its previous order. Unless the custodial parent has done something terrible,...
•Child Custody: How Can I Prove I'm The Best Parent?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
How can you prove you are the better parent? This is a question attorneys hear a lot. There isn't just one answer, and the advice you do get may not please you at all.
When people fight over custody of their children, courts are hesitant to take one party's story as the whole truth. People perceive things differently when they are ending their lives together. The annoying habit you've tolerated for years suddenly becomes a good reason to ask for...
•Divorce: How Long Does A Judge Have To Decide?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
If you are waiting for your divorce to be final, it can be agony. After all, not knowing what property you will have to work with after the divorce makes it hard to plan. Debts that you will be responsible to pay can also effect your future budget. Most annoying and downright scary is what the judge will do with your kids if you and your spouse were fighting over custody.
Unfortunately, the remedy to get the judge to move things along isn't very...
•Divorce: If You Die, Where Will Your Kids Live?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
Our local judge makes an interesting point in custody cases. He also makes the windows rattle and the attorneys run for cover, but after the glass is cleaned up and we stop shaking in our boots, he makes this valid point.
"If you die, where do you think your child will live?"
This is a sobering question when parents hate each other's guts. "My boyfriend" or "their grandmother" is not the right answer. The fact is, that unless the other parent is...
•Divorce: Should Kids Be Left Out Of The Discussion?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
How do your kids feel about your divorce? Do they see it as a good thing for the family? Do they blame themselves for what went wrong? The answers to these questions depend on the kids and the situation.
A child who has been exposed to a lot of arguments and violence may be happy to see the abusive parent leave. She may love the abuser, and worry about him after he's gone, but not being awakened in the middle of the night to screaming, and not...
•Child Safety They Call Me Baby Speed Bump
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
The government can't solve all of our problems. If it could, the guy who served me a cold hamburger for lunch would be facing hard time. I mean, after all, it's not like his oversight is a first offense. He's served other unsuspecting patrons the same greasy, undercooked lump of cow, and should have to pay with his spatula.
There are some things our state governments should tackle, and one of those is the protection of our children. Hey, I don't...
•3 Tips That May Help Your Marriage
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
Improving your marriage may not be necessary if you keep the fires burning in the first place. That is a bit like saying I wouldn't be poor if I had lots of money. However, if you have spent all of the good will in your marriage, there is still a chance you won't have to file divorce. You both have to work on the marriage, but reconciliation is more likely if one of you is willing to start the process.
Jewlry and candy are nice, but they don't make...
•Divorce: Reasons To Stay Together A Little Longer
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
If there is no abuse, you and your spouse may do yourselves a big favor if you can put up with each other for a little longer. It is natural to want to start your new life as soon as you can. After all, the memories of your old one seem unpleasant to you now, and the thought of being away from them would be a big relief. However, your financial obligations will be harder to meet if you have two households to support.
It won't matter to the court...
•Revenge Isn't That Sweet
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
Getting divorced is difficult for both parties. No one takes wedding vows thinking that some day they will be divorcing. Both the husband and wife start the marriage hoping that they will be able to build a happy, satisfying life together.
In some ways, getting divorced is harder then being widowed. When a member of a couple dies, there is a grieving period. However, once the loss is accepted, the surviving spouse can usually move on and build a new...
•Divorce: Give Your Kids Time To Accept Your Decision
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
We all know that divorce is hardest on kids. No matter what the reasons for the break-up, kids tend to wish it would all go away, and that their parents would just kiss and make up. No matter how bad their family lives, or unhappy their parents are, kids like familiarity better then change. After all, they are already coping with a lot in their lives, and Mom and Dad's split is just one more scary event they have to understand and accept.
Just think...
•Your Divorce Petition
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
To start your divorce, you have to file a document telling the judge what you want, and why you are entitled to get it. This document is called the "petition" and usually contains the following information:
1. In General:
When you file a petition for "marriage dissolution" or divorce, you are telling the court you and your spouse can no longer live together and achieve what they call "the legitimate ends of matrimony." This simply means that one or...
•Can I Do My Own Divorce?
? Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
Should you handle your own divorce? Nowadays, there are so many ways to do it, it might be tempting to brave your local courthouse without an attorney. You can, but you should consider some things before you do.
1. Do you and your spouse have anything to fight about? Especially in newer marriages, the couple may find that they have very little together. In these situations, they can pretty much take what they brought to the marriage and go their...
•Please Mr. Government Man, Just Answer My Question!
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
Not that I don't simply adore members of my profession. I just wish they would pay attention to the trouble they cause to ordinary folks when they run their mouths and don't know what they're saying.Our local prosecutor, who I actually consider a friend doesn't usually honk me off like this. In fact, as public officials go, and there are times I'd like to give them suggestions as to where they can ALL go, he is one of the honorable ones. This is to...
•Divorce: 7 Ways To Go For The Throat If You Have To
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
When you get divorced, prepare to go for the throat. I'm not saying you have to bite, just be ready to go for the jugular if your spouse makes it necessary. Here's how.
1. Gather all of your assets in a pile. Putting your car on top of your house isn't what I mean, although there is some humor to the idea. What I'm saying is that you should make sure you know what you have, and have the documents to back it up. Car titles, real estate deeds,...
•Divorce: Contempt Of Court And How To Avoid It
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
Contempt of court is serious. A judge can fine you, make you pay attorney's fees for the other side, or even send you to jail for not obeying an order. Even if you feel you have grounds for not doing what the judge has said because things have changed since he / she ruled on the matter, you are legally bound to follow his / her decree until he / she officially changes his / her mind. If you feel the court's order is unfair under the circumstances,...
•For Better Or Worse, Your Kids Need Both Of You
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
I had a case today that was very typical. Two divorced parents who generally got along found themselves in court because of their 15 year old daughter. She is a poor student, had some rather unsavory observations on her "My Space" page, and generally has shown herself to be a pain in the nether regions.
The father is one of those people who is so laid back, it is amazing he can stand up. He isn't a bad guy, just a little distant and self involved. He...
•Contempt Of Court: A State Of Mind Or A Night In Jail?
? Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
To say Judgipoo and I don't always get along is an exaggeration. We rarely get through a hearing together that one of us doesn't say something rude. Since one of us can hold the other in contempt, you would think that the other one would be a bit cautious. She is, for the most part. She doesn't look good in orange, and until the county jail picks different colored jumpers, she will try to avoid the worse aspects of Judgipoo's wrath. However, today...
•5 Ways To Endear Yourself To Your Divorce Judge
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
If you want to avoid annoying your divorce judge, these tips will help. I can't guarantee that he / she will be in a good mood if you follow this advice. His / her attitude will depend on a number of factors none of us can control, like whether or not your particular jurist is constipated. These tips will give you a leg up, though, and so they are worth heeding.
1. Make sure you get to court on time. The judge may be late, at lunch, or drinking...
•Do Unto Your Family As You Do Unto Your Friends
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
Families tend to take each other for granted. In too many situations, parents, children and siblings say things to each other that might earn them a punch in the nose from a stranger. In most families, rude or inappropriate comments may not result in a bloody nose, but the verbal dispute that ensues can be damaging to the family, and embarrassing and sometimes entertaining, to the neighbors.
The saddest thing about the way families interact is that...
•Save The World! Get Rid Of Lawyers?
? Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
I would like to say I'm not lazy, but that would take too much energy, and it wouldn't be true. As we all know, lawyers are sticklers for the truth. I don't mind expending effort. In fact, there are some things, like rescuing my dinner from my golden retriever, that I do with enthusiasm. There are many more things I do without complaint, if not with pleasure. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating about the "without complaint" bit. Still, I think I've come...
•Miss Thing Vs. Judgipoo
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
And, so it was that I found myself in Judgipoo's court earlier this week. The tropical vines and flowers were looking wilted, so my client's daughter contrived to get Judgipoo to give them a steam bath. Judgipoo's ears must have been bright red, and somewhat painful by the time she let him turn off the spigot.
I had requested a change of venue from Judgipoo in this particular case. I didn't want a different judge. Judgipoo can be terrifying, but...
•Visitation: All Parents Have The Right To Rear Their Kids
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
"The kids are afraid of him / her."
"The kids don't want to visit with their father / mother."
Judges hear this all the time, but they aren't likely to believe it. It doesn't matter if the kids say that Dad spends the whole weekend sleeping on the couch or that Mom spends her visitation time with her boyfriend, instead of the kids. The court will force the kids to go, and will hold the custodial parent in contempt if they don't. Why, you may ask?...
•1 Toe Down And 9 To Go
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
If you read my blog yesterday, you would have seen my rant about the guardian ad litem who was appointed in one of my guardianship cases. I am reminded of one of those incidents that should be embarrasssing, but make you giggle so much when you remember it that it is hard to keep a straight face. If grumpiness was a sign of judicial competence, this man would be on the Supreme Court. Yesterday morning, for instance, I had what I call a "hearing to set...
•Mama's Baby, Papa's Probably
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
I can almost feel my ears blister. Tomorrow, I have a case in Judgipoo's court, and it is just the kind of thing that makes the wild life in the garden I imagine in his courtroom come alive. There will be plenty of steam for the plants, and the animals should have some tasty attorneys to nibble for lunch. Maybe the crocodiles will let us live. You know, professional courtesy and all.
About a month ago, I had a divorce set for a final hearing. It...
•50 Years And No Longer Holding II
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
One of my recent cases involved a couple who had been married for fifty years. It was another situation where the husband thought the children and his wife were against him. The difference between this case, and the one I talked about in Part I, was that these folks had a lot of money.
"Yes, you'll have to share it with her," I advised Dick as he sat across my desk from me. "She has lived with you for 50 years, and anything you accumulated during...
•Paternity: Once It's Established, What Are Dad's Rights?
? Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
Before paternity is established, the man has no parental rights. He can not force the mother to let him visit with the child, and, in fact he can be arrested if he takes the child without the mother's permission.
Once the court has ruled that a man is a child's father, he has the same rights as the mother. He will be given parenting time, or visitation if he wants it. He can even ask for custody if he feels the child would be better off living with...
•Paternity Testing: A Brief History
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
Establishing paternity is one of those things that has definitely improved with technology. It used to be that everyone had to have a blood draw to determine who the daddy was. I never felt too sorry for the adults. After all, they understood the procedure, and they had fun making the test necessary in the first place.
The baby was a different matter. He or she had to be at least 4 months old before the test could be done. Both parents, their...
•Child Custody: Things The Judge Will Consider
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
Whether you are getting a divorce, or were never married, the court has guidelines it must follow in awarding custody of a child. In general, it is the court's duty to place the child where it would be in his / her "best interest" to live. The following are some of the things a judge would normally consider.
The age and sex of the child can be important. If a boy is old enough to decide that he wants to spend more time with his dad, the judge may let...
•50 Years And No Longer Holding 1
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
You would think that after 50 years of marriage, you could be pretty secure in the notion that this one would last. One of the first divorces I had was for a gentleman who had been married for that long. He told me that his wife and daughter were both against him, and he couldn't take it anymore. He moved out of the house they had shared since their wedding day into an apartment uptown. He said he was much happier to be on his own.
I did his...
•Annulment: Is This Marriage Valid?
? Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
To understand annulment, you need to know the difference between a "void" marriage and a "voidable" marriage. The definitions aren't as confusing as you might think. As to the marriages themselves, well ...
A void marriage is one the state doesn't recognize. In most states, the marriage of a same sex couple would fit that description. People who are too closely related, like brother and sister, or who are already married to a living partner also are...
•Marriage Counseling: Will It Save Our Marriage?
? Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
Marriage counseling can be a wonderful way to help couples work on their lives together. However, it's purposes are specific, and will not be achieved if either member of the couple has unrealistic expectations.
Marriage counseling is not a cure all for your marital ills. The counselor can't fix things between you and your spouse. There is no magic formula that will get your marriage back on track. All the counselor can do is help you and your...
•Thou Shalt Not Commit What? III
Thou Shalt Not Commit What? III Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
"I've been happily married for 10 years. I guess 10 out of 25 isn't too bad."
If you want your marriage to continue, the best alternative is not to have the affair in the first place. The new person will distract you from your family obligations, no matter how well you think you can handle the situation. You can't give either relationship the commitment it needs to be healthy. Someone is going to feel cheated, and...
•Counsel, Did You Say Meth or Math Lab?
? Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
I don't know what happened to this judge. At the last hearing, the ex-husband didn't even show up. He told his attorney that his garage door was shut because of an electric outage. The judge pointed out that the guy could have made a lot more of an effort, even if he had to hire someone to get him to court. The support increase we had requested nine months before was granted and made retroactive. Nice job. Domo Aregato, Mr. Judicial. Yada! yada!...
•It's Too Early To Be Pompous
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
I was on the phone this morning. This fact in itself isn't especially interesting. It was the hour of the phone call that interrupted my morning coffee, and it was more than annoying.
The call was from a judge in conference with opposing counsel. It seems that my opposition objected to my filing a brief in what he considered to be an untimely manner. I would have to agree with him. I was late, but as the judge pointed out, there was no statute of...
•The Wisdom Of A Judicial Couch Potato
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
Even the laziest person has redeeming qualities. Take me, for instance. If there is a way to do something easier or to avoid doing something unpleasant altogether, I'm on it like the proverbial ugly on a bug. I still do my work, and I pay my debts, so, as I said I do have redeeming qualities. My dog even thinks I have a nice personality, especially when I'm doing something worthy of praise, like feeding him.
When I first started my practice, our...
•Divorce Hurts, But Life Isn't Over
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
If your marriage didn't work out, don't feel bad, learn. We all make mistakes. When I was in college, I lived with several different friends. With some, I founhd that we could have a good business relationship. Each of us paid our share of the rent, and were honest with each other about issues. With others, we got on each other's nerves, squabbled over insignificant matters, and were, in short, not compatible.
Too many times when a marriage ends,...
•Thou Shalt Not What? II
Thou Shalt Not What? II Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
"I used to have a beautiful house, a new car and a woman who thought the world of me. Now it's all gone." "What happened?" "My wife found out."
Just when you think you're safe, Lover Boy or Girl calls your home. He / she tells your spouse about your dalliance in the hopes of moving you along towards a divorce. Your spouse meets one of your co-workers in the store, and is told, "no, we haven't been working longer hours."...
•Thou Shalt Not What? I
Thou Shalt Not What? I Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
And so it was asked, "Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?" Do cheaters really enjoy what they are doing? Is it the new relationship, or the risk of getting caught that appeals? Too many cheaters don't want to end their marriages to conclude that an affair always signals a desire for a divorce. But, is it ever a good thing?
Before you indulge in what the Bible and most of society calls adultery, make...
•Divorce: Appealing The Decree, Can It Be Done?
? If you end up in court over your divorce, the judge will decide the issues you and your spouse are still disputing. If you are unhappy with the decree, you may be able to "appeal" the court's order. If you are considering an appeal, there are a few things you need to bear in mind.
Appeals are expensive. The first thing you will need to do is notify the trial court of your intention to appeal its order. You will have to pay a filing fee to the appellate court. Next, you will have to pay...
•Domestic Violence: Could You Be An Abuse Victim?
? Could You Be An Abuse Victim?
That may sound like a dumb question. You should know if you are being mistreated. You might be surprised how many people are abused who don't recognize that they are being victimized.
Abuse can be verbal. If you live with someone who belittles you, calls you names, puts your ideas down, or just doesn't listen to you, you are a victim. Contrary to the "sticks and stones" rhyme we learned as kids, names can harm you. They can embarrass, hurt, and make you...
•The Divorce Decree: Your judge's Final Word
The final document in your divorce is the decree. If you and your spouse have reached an agreement, the decree normally would just recite and approve its terms. This is to say that whatever your terms were would be written out, and the judge would just sign your agreement without taking evidence or having a hearing. If you haven't reached settlement, the decree contains the judge's decisions regarding your debts, property and children.
Officially, nothing is final until the judge says it...
•The Summons: Calls Your Spouse To Court
When you file your divorce petition, you are telling the court what you want, and why you should get it. However, your court's clerk also needs a way to prove that your spouse has received notice of the proceedings. This record is called a "summons".
The summons is the document that calls your spouse to court. It warns him / her of deadlines and generally sets out his / her rights. It tells him / her, for instance, that he / she has a certain number of days to let the court know if he /...
•The Final Hearing: What To Expect
When you go to the final hearing, be on time. This won't guarantee that the judge will be prompt. The case before yours may run late. I have also shown up in many a courthouse only to find that the judge is treating him / herself to a luxuriously long lunch. However, if the judge does happen to start on time, and you are not there, you could miss important testimony, not to mention get yelled at in the bargain. Of course, that's never happened to me.
The first person to present his / her...
•Motions, A Polite Way To Ask
A motion is what is filed when you want the court to do something that doesn't require proof. Some common motions are discussed below:
1. Motion For Provisional Order:
In most cases, a couple has to wait for a time after they file their divorce petition before the court can end their marriage. While they are waiting, one of them may have to get temporary relief from the court. Children have to be supported, and sometimes it has to be decided who will have custody for the time being. The...
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