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? You remember the classic fairy tale. Cinderella flees the Royal Ball at midnight, accidentally leaving behind one glass slipper. The captivated Prince Charming picks it up and searches the land to find its beautiful owner.
All sorts of hopeful candidates, including Cinderella's evil ugly stepsisters, try to force their feet into the Prince's glass slipper. But it just doesn't fit - even, in some versions of the tale, after the stepsisters have chopped off bits of their feet (ugh) in a...
•How To Recapture The Optimism Of Youth
We all know that being positive is a Good Thing. But as we get older, it's not that easy to break long-held habits of negative, self-defeating thinking.
I wonder if it's because our thoughts are both so familiar and invisible that we don't always appreciate their serious effect.
Imagine that every negative thought we had was represented visually and stuck permanently right in front of our noses. Like pasting up a sheet of gloomy wallpaper each time we are down on ourselves. I bet we'd be...
•The Importance of NOT Being Earnest (with apologies to Wilde)
The Importance of NOT Being Earnest (with apologies to Wilde) As a relatively new blogger I know it's important to spend some time getting acquainted with the experts. My favourite is Pamela Slim of Escape From Cubicle Nation. She always manages to sound like a real person, which is harder than you'd imagine. This "living your dreams" territory can be a minefield of earnestness. Every time I hear words like "authentic" or "empowered" I battle to slap down my middle finger as it twitches up...
•Two Simple Ways To Free Up Your Time
Sophisticated time management tools, techniques and theories abound: go here and knock yourself out with a comprehensive overview - Pareto, activity logs, Locke's goal setting theory, it's all there.
But I'd like to focus on two very simple ways we can free up our time, by stopping doing things.
Recently I've made a great "stop doing" decision, and wasted an appalling amount of time on something I should never have done in the first place.
CLEVER ME A year ago I co-founded Viva, a...
•How To Define And Get YOUR Kind Of Success
"Hey, I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success".
So speaks Dicky Fox, mentor to sports agent Jerry Maguire in the film of that name. I've always loved that scene. There's something very reassuring about laid back, white haired grandfather figures who are truly (yet unsmug-ly) comfortable in their own skin. Role models for us all.
I've been mulling a lot about success...
•The Fastest Way To Get Your Energy Back
From time to time our passionately held beliefs - our exciting goals for the future - lose their oomph. Maybe we've come up against a problem we just can't see our way around. Or perhaps we're just exhausted from working too hard. Like a soufflé taken out of the oven at the wrong moment, we sit gloopily in an unattractive puddle: deflated, de-motivated and directionless.
At times like this, I tend to indulge in huge bouts of self-pity. I get a masochistic enjoyment from seeing how miserable I...
•Are You Watering Down Your Dream?
? One of the things I often notice is how quick we are to water down our dreams. I know that sometimes we do have to bend to reality, but much of the time we don't even give our dreams a chance. We compromise up front, before even testing the ideal. Or we lose focus, distracted by those seductive opportunities which make our lives a bit easier now - but at the expense of the long term.
Don't Compromise
Let's be a little more ruthless. There's a scene in the film When Harry Met Sally that for...
•What Your Party Conversation Says About Your Ideal Work
What sort of people do you prefer to talk to at a party? According to Richard Bolles, author of What Colour Is Your Parachute and long-standing career change guru, your answer to this question will determine the work environment that suits you best.
Understanding the type of environment you flourish in is essential to finding or creating your ideal work. And the people you surround yourself with - colleagues, clients, suppliers, partners - are a key part of your environment.
Bolles' "Party...
•Coach Yourself From Circular To Straight Line Thinking
Many people complain to me that the career or broader life issues they're grappling with just circle endlessly in their head. I've experienced this myself. My two most determined circles were 1) wondering what on earth I was supposed to be doing with my life and later 2) questioning if I had the will, talent, skills, time, money (you name it) to set up my own coaching practice.
To break both these circles I hired a coach. Undoubtedly the coaching forced me to take action that I would...
•Make A Leap Of Faith
'Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a prettily preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways in a shower of gravel and party shards, thoroughly used, utterly exhausted, and loudly proclaiming: "WOW...what a ride!"'
I love this quote. I'm not too sure who said it - I've stumbled across several variations on the internet - but whoever it was, they sound like they'd have been a fun person to know.
Why do we lead such cautious lives? Why do we hold...
•3 Simple Steps To Put An End To Worry
I've been thinking a lot about worry recently.
I always ask new clients to complete a short profile before we start our coaching sessions. One of the questions is "what consumes time or energy that you wish to eliminate?" Invariably people mention worry.
Often what they're worrying about isn't life or death situations. But even small worries nag away at us, taking up valuable head space which we could put to use more productively elsewhere.
I consider myself a classic case in point. On...
•The Art of Painless Planning
Have you experimented with all kinds of time management tools, only to give up because they are just too complicated? Many planning systems are great in theory but - I've found at least - too tough to stick to for the average imperfect human being. I've therefore developed a "quick and dirty" approach of my own, which I'm delighted to share with you now.
MY QUICK AND EASY PLANNING TOOL (for people who hate to plan)
1. Take a single sheet of A4 paper and create two columns extending two...
•Women, Leadership and Personality: Insights Form The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
The MBTI is extensively used for leadership development training and coaching in companies all over the world. Based on psychologist Carl Jung's theory of personality types, for more than 50 years it has been the most widely used psychometric instrument for understanding normal personality differences.
How does the MBTI work?
The MBTI identifies your natural preferences in four areas or dichotomies:
1.Where you get your energy from
Extraversion(E) the external world of people, activities...
•Can We Ever Really Be On Top Of Things?
? Making better use of their time is a goal many of my clients share with me. So we come up with useful strategies, and usually see some progress. But just how much can we - or should we - really expect of ourselves?
I empathise with my clients' struggles. I rarely get to the end of a day feeling like I've achieved everything I wanted to. I've tried all sorts of time management systems and techniques. I'm a big fan of Franklin Covey (see www.franklincovey.com) for example. The main thrust...
•Are You In A Job, Career or Calling? Take This Survey!
Are You In A Job, Career or Calling? Take This Survey! Job, Career or Calling?
How would you describe the way you earn a living? Research by Amy Wrzensniewski, Professor of Management and Organizational Behavior at New York University, shows that most people view their work either as a job, a career, or a calling.
I've drawn inspiration from her questionnaire to offer you a light-hearted version of the test below. Answer the questions and add up your scores to find out which category you...
•Finding The Work You Really Want: How Getting Naked Helps
Are you unhappy in your current career, but you just don't know what you'd like to do instead?
If so, I can relate to where you're coming from. I worked for over 10 years, first as a solicitor and then in various marketing roles in the voluntary sector, knowing that what I was doing wasn't really "me" but pretty clueless as to what would be. I did know I wanted to do something that "helped people", and I wanted to see some fairly immediate results.
I spent years struggling to translate...
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