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Would you marry you? If you were/are single, are you the kind of person you'd be looking for and want to hook up with?
Sure, we all want a partner who is our version of the Perfect 10. But truth be told, we cross our fingers that said Perfect 10 will settle for a Strong 7 and overlook a few of our less than perfect traits. When you're dating and doing your best to impress the object of your affection, you've got a couple of things working for you: (1) your sweetheart is blinded by...
The Sex Savings Account - Earn Real Dividends!
Okay, I'm going to be honest. This is not an entirely original idea. It was inspired by Brenda and Gill, the most clever couple I've ever met when it comes to keeping things playful and spicy. For example, they're fond of having candlelit black tie dinners for two and they each wear nothing but a black tie. They might spend Saturday night in a fiercely fought game of strip poker or bikini Twister. Yep, they like to get naked which, as you might imagine, leads to the boudoir, which leads me to...
Prenup Agreement - Legal and Financial Issues
The laws and regulations that govern our life are staggeringly complex. No one, not even an attorney, can know them all. But, like it or not, your marriage is subject to a myriad of rules and restrictions imposed upon it by the jurisdiction(s) in which you live, beginning with whether you "qualify" to be legally married and culminating with what happens to your property when you die. That's the bad news. The good news is that, for the most part, you're able to write your own rules to fit your...
Better Emotional Intimacy - 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
In 1975 Paul Simon released his hit song "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover." I recently looked up the lyrics and discovered something I'd failed to notice in 1975 when I was hummin' along. The song is about a woman giving a man advice on how to extricate himself from his current relationship. The song ends with said woman kissing him and suggesting that they sleep on it, a suggestion which leads him to conclude that she's probably right-there must be 50 ways to leave your lover. Hmmmm . . . sounds...
Differences Can Lead to Greater Intimacy in Marriage
Two questions:
* Why do made-for-each-other love bugs butt heads, step on each others toes, and get their wires crossed?
* In a "discussion" with your sweetie, have you ever said something like, "Well, in my book [fill in the blank]."
The answer to the second question is sure you have. The answer to the first question is this:
The "book" you're referring to is the unique and complex mix of your preferences, opinions, priorities, standards, points of view, and sensitivities, all shaped by...
Love: Mother Nature's Dirty Trick
Dopamine. Adrenalin. Serotonin. When you're falling in love, your brain produces these hormones by the gallon. This flood of hormones is why we're "addicted" to our sweetheart, can't think of anything else, and are blinded to his or her all-too-soon-painfully-obvious flaws. They make us want to have sex. That triggers other hormones, including the Oxytocin and Vasopressin that cause us to bond and form long-term relationships. So far, so good, right? Well, here's the dirty trick: The hormones...
Marriage - It Is NOT Hard Work
Marriage. It's hard work. Bologna. If my beloved had said, "You know, honey, being married to me is going to require hard work," I would have cut and run. My idea of a great marriage is not tantamount to labor camp. Yet we hear over and again, "Marriage is hard work." It's not.
What's hard work is:
Being right. Just as you can't have left without right, up without down, cold without hot, or light without dark, you can't be right without someone else being wrong. While there are things that,...
Remarriage, Blended Families, And Blended Stuff - Create Opportunity From Challenge
Remarriage. It's the "blend" setting on the Cuisinart of life. The kids, the finances, the friends, the pets, the former in-laws-all a breeze compared to blending your stuff into the same home-sweet-home and learning, up close and personal, why it's said, "One person's treasure is another's junk."
You've both got a house full of furniture, art, knickknacks, and--'fess up--a ton of crap that by any standard belongs in a garage sale at best, more likely in the trash. But it's your crap, thank...
Marriage and Partnership - The Power of Two
The exponential power of two. It's one of the great things about being in a committed relationship. When there's dry cleaning to pick up, groceries to buy, a dog to walk, a UPS truck that's expected, a lawn that needs mowing, a kid with a tummy ache, windows to wash, and dinner to prepare, having someone share the load makes life a lot easier.
Ditto when you hit the rough spots. Double ditto when you face challenges. Cranky and downright unpleasant. We've all been there. Down in the dumps just...
A Better Way to Keep Score and Keep Your Marriage Happy
Keeping score can keep your relationship happy.
I know. That's contrary to what gurus have been spouting since the day Adam met Eve. So, before you decide I'm some sort of nut, let me add that I am no-way-Jose advocating the all too popular tit-for-tat "two rights make a wrong" justification of your bad behavior by that of your partner. Nope. That is not a good idea, not if you want a great relationship.
Having said that, it's time to 'fess up. We all keep score. Even the most...
Getting Even (Or Not) - Tips For a Healthy Marriage
Unwanted facial hair. Yep, hubby Dale and I have reached that age. His ears spawn renegade hair. Nose tendrils, if left untrimmed, poke out his nostrils. And me? Ive got chin hairs that I swear are as thick as pipe cleaners. There are advantages to getting older. This hair thing is soooooooo not one of them. I mean, get this. For my birthday Dale gave me state-of-the-art tweezers and I was as thrilled as if the gift had come from Tiffanys. Well, okay, not quite as thrilled but there was a...
Your Reality Show - Embracing Public Displays of Affection
Until Jon stepped out on Kate and the internet practically collapsed under the weight of the chatter, I thought Jon and Kate Plus Eight was a reality show about two loving parents raising eight adorable kids. Since I'm into the grandparent thing, I gave the show a no-thanks-not-interested-I'll-pass yawn. However, all it took was one trip down the grocery check-out aisle through tabloid headline hell, and the Gosselins' marriage drama caught my relationship-coach-eye.
The show may have begun as...
The Meltdown Another Ticket to Marital Intimacy
Things go wrong. The oven malfunctions, the appetizer burns, and your snooty in-laws arrive to a smoke-filled house. Youre leaving for your brothers wedding and the baby throws up on the perfect silk dress you shopped for months to find. The flight home from the conference your boss made you attend is late. You miss your own birthday party.
A meltdown is yours to have. The sweetheart who wants to earn points (or what my hubby and I call Frequent Foreplay Miles) shows support with, That...
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