What makes people happy? There are numerous answers to this but one answer is developing empowering labels. Labels are the basic words and ways people evaluate or judge experiences. We give ourselves and things labels all the time. Good, bad, ugly, exciting, failure, success, smart, dumb, poor, rich, beautiful, intelligent, weak, strong, selfish, cheap, giving, lost, stable, pathetic, horrible, amazing. These are all labels we put on ourselves and others. The labels you use consistently shape the way you see yourself and the world. You need to be incredibly careful of the labels you use because you learn to live towards such labels. They become self-fulfilling prophecies.
The labels we use become our triggers. If you are always calling yourself or someone you have a strong influence over stupid, then you or they will start to believe it. Even if you say you dont really mean it, words are powerful and we will unconsciously act in a way that is congruent with its meaning. It might be a subtle drop of the head, a change in breath, but it will have an effect. Then your unconscious mind, will access old memories of when you felt stupid and then interpret this event like the ones before it. What makes people happy is often related to the selection of words they consistently use. This is because whatever you look for, you will find.
What if you used the word smart, would that have an effect? Absolutely, it will affect you in proportion to how much you believe it. You believe it a little, your body will change a little and you will feel a little better. If you believe it a lot, then you will have bigger effects. What if youre stuck in a particular mood and you really dont believe you are very smart at that point in time? Well, there are much better options then believing you are stupid. It may be that you are a learner, or a novice or human, or you may challenge with a phrase like a step closer to success, or even a sentence like just because I make mistakes some of the time, it does not mean that I am completely stupid. You see our labels often distort and influence too much of our reality. Stupid is a generalizing word, you look through it as if it applies to everything. But no-one could possibly be stupid or bad or a failure at everything that they do all of the time. Developing a positive vocabulary is what makes people happy.
Your labels need to be kind. What makes people happy are empowering labels that are still realistic. Beating yourself or other people down just sets everyone back several steps. They must be kind because your labels become part of your identity. Be very careful of the labels you accept, the labels you reject and your definition behind the labels you use.
| About Author Aleks Srbinoski : |
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Aleks Srbinoski is a Clinical and Coaching Psychologist, Company Consultant, & Professional Speaker. He is the Director of Aleks inPsychology, a self-development training company with a mission to guide as many people as possible towards a life of Fulfilling Happiness. Learn how to increase your emotional intelligence and find happiness with extensive FREE techniques at http://www.FreeHappyNewYear.com To access numerous FREE self-development and happiness resources, and find out more about the range of other professional individual and organizational coaching services Aleks offers, go to http://www.AleksInPsychology.com
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Article Added on Friday, February 5, 2010
| Other Articles by Aleks Srbinoski | |
Happiness comes from celebrating your strengths and weaknesses
What causes happiness is a question with many answers. One of the key practices recommended by positive psychology practitioners is the importance of incorporating as many of your strengths into as many of your activities as possible. By doing this, you will significantly increase your chances of thoroughly enjoying those activities. However I believe happiness is not always about your successes. When it comes to individual psychology, what makes people happy above all else is their attitude!...
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