bharatbhasha.net


Free Articles  >>  Parenting >>  Page 25  >> 

Custody Wars Updating the Ongoing Dilemma For Black Fathers



As the country watched the extensive custody battle waged by David Goldman and his supporters to get his son Sean back in the United States from the Brazilian government and his deceased wife’s family, fathers of color continue to wage similar battles right here in the United States.

Many of these fathers can barely afford the gas to travel the miles even within the same state to attend the endless hearings, psychological assessments, attorney briefings and other legal wrangling that impedes their primary objective to maintain contact with their children.

Unfortunately, the research has shown a devastating rise in parental alienation cases with women in the majority, who use their children as pawns to punish the fathers. In many of these cases, the fathers, especially Black fathers, do not have deep financial pockets and are often charged with custody payments and still denied visitations and forced to pay the legal fees for their former spouses too despite making less income in some cases.

It often seems that the courts are biased and assist one side in draining the other while playing favorites with the child as the sacrifice. Previously, we noted a report by ChildrensJustice.org that stated that four in 10 mothers admitted that they interfered with the father's visitation at least one time to punish him and almost 50 percent of the mothers saw "no value" in custody rights of fathers.

Because of this alarming trend and the increased awareness of the important role that fathers have in the productive development of their children, a number of states are looking into legislation that would allow children to have more say in their parental choice early on to reduce the levels of intimidation and alienation that keeps unhappy and divided couples fighting each other in the court rooms versus being nurturing, separated parents focused on their children. Meanwhile, Black fathers have few outlets to tell their stories.

We followed the progress of one such father who was in the early stages of what he was told would be a long process. Toby Brooks, a distribution employee living in Houston, revolves his entire life around his children. His youngest child is the innocent victim in the pending divorce proceedings and the lack of access continues to bother Brooks.

“I still do not understand how fathers like me, who want to be with our children, are (treated) this way,” Brooks adds. “I have only had phone contact and that has been limited and there are attitudes that I am sure my son is being exposed to that are not favorable regarding me. That is just not right.”

The decision to proceed with the divorce became clear to Brooks because the circumstances were not changing regarding the treatment of his oldest child from a previous relationship. “Staying was no longer an option because the situation was only getting worse. I felt that a clean break would be in everyone’s best interests so that we did not have to worry about not making it as a couple, but we could just be good parents. Unfortunately, I cannot see my youngest son nor can the two brothers continue the bonding that they need with me and each other.”

Brooks is now focused on doing what needs to be done to gain access to his son and shares a hard learned lesson for others who want to become parents, especially fathers. “Know who you are planning to start a family with because it can make a big difference when things do not work out, especially with Black fathers who have so many negative stereotypes out there.” Brooks notes. “Be sure to keep all the proof of your support and activities so your case is sound because it is time consuming and expensive.”

Black fathers continue to face an uphill battle right in the United States for custody and visitation rights. Without media outreach and financial resources, many Black fathers lose the battle because the system has drained what little they did have and then labels them “deadbeats.”

This is not to say that all fathers step up to their responsibilities or that all estranged mothers are alienating their children. This just speaks to the need for more oversight within the family court system to provide equitable, judicial intervention to give active Black fathers, who are stepping up, a helping hand based on understanding versus the systematic “smack down” based on one-sided and misleading stereotypes.
About Author Meta J. Mereday :

Meta J. Mereday is a writer for http://www.regalmag.com, an online magazine dedicated to issues affecting African American men. Visit http://www.regalmag.com/classifieds/ to view Local Online Classifieds & Job Classified Black Business Directory. To read more about Black fathers visit http://www.regalmag.com/black-fathers-still-fighting-custody-wars-a-439.html.


Article Source: http://www.bharatbhasha.net
Article Url: http://www.bharatbhasha.net/parenting.php/221058


Article Added on Thursday, March 4, 2010
LD
Other Articles by Meta J. Mereday

What Should be Done About Lack of Fathers Child Custody Rights
Wouldn’t it be nice if President Obama spoke up for fathers’ child custody rights; those who are being beat down by the family court system instead of the minority who are deadbeats? Where is the conversation and uproar on fathers’ child custody rights for them? Who is speaking to the massive destruction of the nuclear family and the impact on fathers who are being denied visitation and access, but charged with paying support? Many of these fathers have committed no crime other than a change...

The Gift of Parenting Reflecting on Dad s Day and the Extended Family
Father’s Day is the annual celebration of the males who inspire and motivate their children. Recently, African American males have been repeatedly (and one-sidedly) bashed by the media as “deadbeat,” “absentee” and “abusive.” Unfortunately, the state of divorces, domestic violence and child abuse have reached epidemic proportions around the world in all cultures. Even sadder is the realization that the reflections for Dad’s day that incorporate images portraying fathers of color, especially...

Gifts For Father s Day What do Men Really Want
Although Father’s Day continues to lag behind Mother’s Day in the spirit of giving, it is no less important as an opportunity to celebrate parenthood and the role of fathers. How the celebration has changed in terms of gifts for Father’s Day is a reflection of society’s view of fathers and the dynamics that comprise a family. Although the structure of the American family has challenged the role of fathers and their place as the head of the household, gifts for Father’s Day continue to...

Black Veterans Still Not Receiving Their Due
With a Black President, many discussions have been re-kindled regarding the treatment of Blacks in various facets of American society. One area that still lacks in the depth required to first, identify problems and issues, and second, outline and implement solutions involves the care and support of Black veterans. Unfortunately, it is difficult to determine all the problems and issues that specifically impact Black veterans and what they have been lacking from the country they have served for...

Parental Influence Missing in Modern Black Athletes
There was a time in professional sports, especially in football, when an athlete who had just scored a touchdown or made a significant play would always look into the camera and say, “Hi Mom” or “Thanks Pop.” The parental involvement in the development of athletes, particularly Black athletes has taken a definite turn and it is not too positive. Over-aggressive agents and single-minded coaches have often taken the place of the parents in the decision making of promising athletes with promises...

Black Clergy Taking the High Road or Taking a Hike on Social Reform
Every Sunday (and for some folks it is every Saturday), millions of people put on their “Sunday best” and pack the pews, padded seats, folding chairs and rough hewn benches of facilities nationwide that constitute their places of spiritual worship. While religion is practiced the world over, the connection for Black people to their church and the Black clergy who run them, seems to surpass all others, thus the role of Black preachers themselves has also followed that exalted path. “Our...

Black Students Still Waiting For Superman
While the news was briefly all abuzz with the $100 million donation from one of the Facebook founders Mark Zuckerberg to help bolster the New Jersey school system, the plight of the Black students, in many of the poorest performing schools districts continues to take a back seat in the discussion. Whether to pay more in salaries to recruit more qualified teachers, increase funding for much needed supplies or to repair and upgrade outdated buildings are definitely important items to consider,...

Black owned Businesses Addressing the How To When Feeling the Why Bother
With all the discussion about the growth industries including health, IT, education, green technologies, etc. that will lead the country out of its fiscal slump, you do not hear much about Black-owned businesses being a “growth area,” but it should be. The primary reason for the launch of many Black-owned businesses was the “concrete ceiling” effect within corporate America that drove promising Black executives into the entrepreneurial arena due to limited advancement opportunities. Other...

Economic Recession Hits Black Men Hard
There is a saying that when White people are in a recession, that Black people are in a depression and that is quite true in this current economic recession. People of color, especially Black people, and most particularly Black men are feeling the full brunt of the economic recession that has often resembled a depression that mirrors the “Great One” of the 1930s. Articles in mainstream publications, including the Washington Times and others, highlight the impact that the recession has had on...

Finally Black Farmers Settlement Appears Near
While the final amounts may vary, it is clear that those rallying for the Black farmers’ settlement to be, can almost rest assured that those long suffering laborers, many of whom have passed on, will finally receive the funds for a judgment they were awarded over a decade ago. Regal Magazine reported earlier about the plight of the Black farmers’ settlement, including Black and Native American farmers, who were part of a judgment in the Pigford case in 1997. At the time of our initial...

Click here to see More Articles by Meta J. Mereday
Publishers / Webmasters
Tell A Friend
Leave A Comment!
Download this article in PDF
Report Article!
Search through all the articles:


297 Users Online!!
Related Articles:
Latest Articles:
 
parenting >> Top 50 Articles on Parenting
Category - >
Advertising Advice Affiliate Programs Automobiles
Be Your Own Mentor Careers Communication Consumers
CopyWriting Crime Domain Names DoT com Entrepreneur Corner
Ebooks Ecommerce Education Email
Entertainment Environment Family Finance And Business
Food & Drink Gardening Health & Fitness Hobbies
Home Business Home Improvement Humour House Holds
Internet And Computers Kiddos and Teens Legal Matters Mail Order
Management Marketing Marriage MetaPhysical
Motivational MultiMedia Multi Level Marketing NewsLetters
Pets Psychology Religion Parenting
Politics Sales Science Search Engine Optimization
Site Promotion Sports Technology Travel
Web Development Web Hosting WeightLoss Women's Corner
Writing Miscellaneous Articles Real Estate Arts And Crafts
Aging


Disclaimer: The information presented and opinions expressed in the articles are those of the authors
and do not necessarily represent the views of bharatbhasha.net and/or its owners.


Copyright © AwareINDIA. All rights reserved || Privacy Policy || Terms Of Use || Author Guidelines || Free Articles
FAQs Link To Us || Submit An Article || Free Downloads|| Contact Us || Site Map  || Advertise with Us ||
Click here for Special webhosting packages for visitors of this website only!
Vastu Shastra

Linux Hosting Provided By AwareIndia