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•Domestic Violence Treatment Domestic Abuse Intervention in the Context of Relationship Therapy
People ask, Why are you trying to help people 'fix' relationships that many people urge you to flee? We are by profession, practice and expertise healers first. Our belief is that people, at the core of their being, have the capacity for change.
Every person in an abusive relationship, whether they are the abuser or abused, can influence the dynamics of the relationship. Now this doesn't mean to imply that domestic abuse survivors are responsible for the battering or even have the ability to...
•Healing Emotional Abuse Boundary Issues of Domestic Violence
We hear about domestic abuse survivors' boundary issues as though this is what got them in the abusive relationship. Well, maybe it did. However, it's also true that their progressive dismantling of their personal boundaries is what keeps them safe while living in an abusive relationship.
If you are in an abusive relationship, you probably know what I mean. Now it may not necessarily be something that you are conscious of, but I trust you are aware of the fact that if you say no, to...
•Verbal Abuse in Marriage How to Deal with Verbal Sniping in Abusive Relationships
Emotional verbal abuse in marriage is commonplace in couples of all walks of life. Sometimes it's an innocent reflexive gesture that comes out unconsciously. And other times, it's an oral blow intended to smack you across your heart and soul.
The question is what do you do in the moment it comes your way? And then, as a result of this, what follows?
Swallowing Emotional and Verbal Abuse
Spousal abuse survivors become accustomed to swallowing emotional and verbal abuse as though it was part...
•Domestic Abuse Counseling How to Engage Your Partner in Abusive Relationship Therapy
Identifying the problem is half of the solution. We hear this in healthcare and in domestic abuse counseling, too.
But when you are on the receiving end of domestic abuse, you often lose sight of the fact that identifying the problem is part of the treatment. Battered women expect their abusive partners to have admitted that they are batterers in order to enter into therapy. Not true!
In fact, more often than not, batterers voluntarily entering into domestic abuse therapy are in denial that...
•Abusive Relationship Healing 5 Tips for Lifting Depression after Your Abusive Relationship
It is common knowledge that when one is beaten down, they feel beaten down. So it's no wonder that domestic abuse survivors frequently suffer from depression. We see this in individuals living in an abusive relationship, and in those having left their abuser.
What is it that makes it possible for these people to heal their depression? The following actions to avoid, and steps to take, are essential to the resolution of depression for domestic abuse survivors.
1) Stop Negative self-talk
Even...
•Domestic Abuse Treatment The Right Help for an Abusive Relationship
Domestic violence is recognized as a condition that exists within an intimate relationship. But its source is intra-psychic, meaning arising out of an individualnamely, the batterer. Most people will acknowledge this as true.
I often hear domestic violence survivors tell me that they want to help their partners once they learn of the intra-psychic issues underlying their partner's inappropriate abusive aggression. The question is, how?
Abuser as Victim
Months and, in some cases, years may...
•Abusive Relationship Help Changing the Dynamics of Abusive Relationships Habits of Victimization
When I tell you 'no' and you whine, get angry...etc, then my job is to simply allow you the space to experience that which you feel.
If you live in an abusive relationship or have left one, this probably doesn't sound familiar. But you know in your heart that if it were this way, your relationships would be more satisfying.
Who Owns Whose Upset
In abusive relationships here's what more typically happens. The controlling partner expresses a desire for something, and the less empowered...
•Domestic Abuse Counseling 5 Clues for a Positive Outcome in Domestic Abuse Treatment
Do you think my husband will/can change? Spousal abuse survivors embarking on domestic abuse counseling ask this question. They want to know if I think their husbands will change. And the husbands secretly ask, Will/can she change?
Now, let's face I, I don't have a crystal ball but I can tell you what a good prognosis looks like. I can tell you how someone presents wherein the chances are in their favor for a positive outcome in domestic abuse treatment. And, I can tell you which prospective...
•Domestic Violence Treatment Healing the Two Sides of Boundary Issues in Abusive Relationships
People say that domestic violence victims have serious boundaries issues...which they do. And so do the perpetrators that they live with. It comes with the territory of being in an abusive relationship.
You might think of it as two people having a tolerance for the actions of the other. Or, it can be seen as operant conditioning in play wherein one person conditions the other to surrender their boundaries for safety in the relationship. Abusive relationship help typically recognizes these...
•Domestic Violence Self Help How to Find Your Answers from Within
There are no right or wrong answers when it comes to domestic violence. Each situation is as unique as each person living it. You heard me. There are as many variations to this story as there are people living it. So, don't let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't do.
Far too often survivors of domestic abuse look to other people for answers to questions that truly lie within. They pursue the wisdom of those they pay for legal advice to those that shelter them from the danger in their...
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