bharatbhasha.net


Free Articles  >>  Self Improvement >>  Page 264  >> 

Leaving an Abusive Relationship What You Must Know to Leave an Abusive Relationship Safely



Often times we hear that leaving an abuser, can be deadly. According to FBI reports 75% of all homicides by intimate male partners occurred after the victim left.

Battered women are far more vulnerable to physical attack as well as attacks to their personal privacy, their civil liberties and their parental rights after they leave. Now you might ask why.

Why are battered women at greater danger when they leave?

When a victim leaves an abusive relationship and moves out, the mere physical separation as well as the emotional separation increases the perpetrators need to control his victim.

Abuse is fundamentally about control. Violence may be a manifestation of domestic abuse, but domestic abuse if really about control.

And the perpetrator can't bear to be out of control. When the perpetrator feels he's losing his grip, violence will escalate so as to re-engage control.

Pregnancy and Intimate Partner Violence

This is why we see an increase in intimate partner violence during pregnancy. When that life is felt by the expectant mother, that is the battered one, from her perpetrator's perspective, she's left.

She has taken energy previously dedicated to the perpetrator and invested it in their unborn fetus. And from where he stands, that's no different then leaving. Violence will escalate so as to re-engage control.

Scott Peterson said, "I lost my wife. You don't understand my loss." he said. "My wife is gone." Amber Fry said, "How could she be gone before she went missing?"

My sense is as that pregnancy progressed, Scott needed something for himself...someone for himself. That's why he had the affair. He was dealing with his loss. What did he lose? He lost control! Laci left before she went missing.

The Importance of How You Leave an Abusive Relationship

So when you hear people say the danger will escalate when you leave, the message is NOT don't leave. The message is be mindful that there is a right way to leave and a wrong way to leave.

When you decide to leave, leave quickly and quietly. Do not go to your partner and tell him why you're leaving. If you are thinking of doing this, you may not be ready to leave.

Rather you may unconsciously be hoping that if your partner knows he will loss you that he will change. And this may be so. And it may not be so.

Find out how to leave to insure your safety; rather than compromise it as part of you preparation to leave an abusive relationship.


About Author Dr Jeanne King PhD :

For more insights and information about leaving an abusive relationship, see http://www.EndDomesticAbuse.org/dad_vol1-2_ebook.php#vol2 and claim your free Survivor Success Tips and eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people worldwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse at home and in court. ©2008 Jeanne King, Ph.D. http://www.EndDomesticAbuse.org


Article Source: http://www.bharatbhasha.net
Article Url: http://www.bharatbhasha.net/self_improvement.php/131438


Article Added on Friday, May 1, 2009
Other Articles by Dr Jeanne King PhD

•Abusive Relationship Signs Endlessly Inadequate in the Presence of Your Abusive Spouse
When you walk through that door, my time becomes your time. Sound familiar? The question I have is, Is it good or is this bad? That could go either way depending on how you experience yourself when you are with him...when you give to him...when he wants from you...when he gives to you. If you are in an abusive relationship, you may notice that you step out when your abusive spouse steps in. It may be that you believe you need to be all about him when he shows up, because being about you...

•Healing in Abusive Relationships 7 Secrets to Successful Survival in an Abusive Relationship
Far too often, we hear individuals in abusive relationships seeking to change their partners in order to change their relationship. While it is true that a change in either person will change the overall dynamic of the relationship, changing one's partner is only an option if it is partner-self-initiated. Rather than holding onto something that is essentially out of one's controlactually not one's businesslook to changing what is within your control and is indeed your business: yourself. In...

•Domestic Abuse Counseling How to Engage Your Partner in Abusive Relationship Therapy
Identifying the problem is half of the solution. We hear this in healthcare and in domestic abuse counseling, too. But when you are on the receiving end of domestic abuse, you often lose sight of the fact that identifying the problem is part of the treatment. Battered women expect their abusive partners to have admitted that they are batterers in order to enter into therapy. Not true! In fact, more often than not, batterers voluntarily entering into domestic abuse therapy are in denial that...

•Domestic Violence Treatment Healing the Two Sides of Boundary Issues in Abusive Relationships
People say that domestic violence victims have serious boundaries issues...which they do. And so do the perpetrators that they live with. It comes with the territory of being in an abusive relationship. You might think of it as two people having a tolerance for the actions of the other. Or, it can be seen as operant conditioning in play wherein one person conditions the other to surrender their boundaries for safety in the relationship. Abusive relationship help typically recognizes these...

•Domestic Violence Survival Tips 3 Keys to Surviving the Conditioning in an Abusive Relationship
Understanding the conditioning that occurs in abusive relationships is key to one's survival in, and after, the relationship. Here are three keys to help you see the role and effects of conditioning in abusive relationships. 1) You did not make him/her do it or say it. You probably know this from the core of your being, but may have trouble believing it with your thinking brain, due to the ongoing conditioning that happens in abusive relationships. With most things in the relationship—when...

•Daughter in an Abusive Relationship How to Recognize Domestic Abuse and Inspire Healthy Change
When your adult child is in an abusive relationship, you feel helpless because you know that your efforts to impact change may indeed inflame matters. Yet, you know you can't sit still and pretend that all is well when it is not. You know from her actions and inactions that she is pulling back from you. And you are very clear that her moves are not related to what's actually between the two of you. It is apparent to you that she wants to maintain peace in her own home and is being required to...

•After the Abusive Relationship Long Term Aid for Domestic Abuse Survivors
Do what you're called to do and the universe will support you. You've probably heard this, but may be scratching your head thinking about your bills, responsibilities and all of the what ifs... This is understandable. So rather than jump in with blind faith, I want to invite your everyday casual, rational mind to do what you're called to do. And then, address the missing link domestic abuse survivors commonly bring to the table. Doing What You're Called to Do Is Your JOB When you're doing...

•Verbal Abuse in Marriage How to Deal with Verbal Sniping in Abusive Relationships
Emotional verbal abuse in marriage is commonplace in couples of all walks of life. Sometimes it's an innocent reflexive gesture that comes out unconsciously. And other times, it's an oral blow intended to smack you across your heart and soul. The question is what do you do in the moment it comes your way? And then, as a result of this, what follows? Swallowing Emotional and Verbal Abuse Spousal abuse survivors become accustomed to swallowing emotional and verbal abuse as though it was part...

•Healing from Domestic Abuse How to Know if You Will Avoid Another Abusive Relationship
People say once a victim, always a victim. I beg to differ. Over the years I have been watching men and women grow to become self-sufficient, self-respecting people who have no tolerance for being abused any more. These people have completely healed from domestic abuse. How do you know if you are going to be one of these people versus the person that ends up in another abusive relationship? Here are some pointers for knowing you're home free when it comes to being victimized by intimate...

•Domestic Violence Treatment Domestic Abuse Intervention in the Context of Relationship Therapy
People ask, Why are you trying to help people 'fix' relationships that many people urge you to flee? We are by profession, practice and expertise healers first. Our belief is that people, at the core of their being, have the capacity for change. Every person in an abusive relationship, whether they are the abuser or abused, can influence the dynamics of the relationship. Now this doesn't mean to imply that domestic abuse survivors are responsible for the battering or even have the ability to...

Click here to see More Articles by Dr Jeanne King PhD
Publishers / Webmasters
Tell A Friend
Leave A Comment!
Download this article in PDF
Report Article!
Search through all the articles:


132 Users Online !
Related Articles:
Latest Articles:
 
Self Improvement >> Top 50 Articles on Self Improvement
Category - >
• Advertising • Advice • Affiliate Programs • Automobiles
• Be Your Own Mentor • Careers • Communication • Consumers
• CopyWriting • Crime • Domain Names • DoT com Entrepreneur Corner
• Ebooks • Ecommerce • Education • Email
• Entertainment • Environment • Family • Finance And Business
• Food & Drink • Gardening • Health & Fitness • Hobbies
• Home Business • Home Improvement • Humour • House Holds
• Internet And Computers • Kiddos and Teens • Legal Matters • Mail Order
• Management • Marketing • Marriage • MetaPhysical
• Motivational • MultiMedia • Multi Level Marketing • NewsLetters
• Pets • Psychology • Religion • Parenting
• Politics • Sales • Science • Search Engine Optimization
• Site Promotion • Sports • Technology • Travel
• Web Development • Web Hosting • WeightLoss • Women's Corner
• Writing • Miscellaneous Articles • Real Estate • Arts And Crafts
• Aging


Disclaimer: The information presented and opinions expressed in the articles are those of the authors
and do not necessarily represent the views of bharatbhasha.net and/or its owners.


Copyright © AwareINDIA. All rights reserved || Privacy Policy || Terms Of Use || Author Guidelines || Free Articles
FAQs Link To Us || Submit An Article || Free Downloads|| Contact Us || Site Map  || Advertise with Us ||
Click here for Special webhosting packages for visitors of this website only!
Vastu Shastra

Linux Hosting Provided By AwareIndia