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Domestic Violence Survival Tips 3 Keys to Surviving the Conditioning in an Abusive Relationship
Understanding the conditioning that occurs in abusive relationships is key to one's survival in, and after, the relationship. Here are three keys to help you see the role and effects of conditioning in abusive relationships.
1) You did not make him/her do it or say it.
You probably know this from the core of your being, but may have trouble believing it with your thinking brain, due to the ongoing conditioning that happens in abusive relationships. With most things in the relationshipwhen...
Domestic Violence Treatment Healing the Two Sides of Boundary Issues in Abusive Relationships
People say that domestic violence victims have serious boundaries issues...which they do. And so do the perpetrators that they live with. It comes with the territory of being in an abusive relationship.
You might think of it as two people having a tolerance for the actions of the other. Or, it can be seen as operant conditioning in play wherein one person conditions the other to surrender their boundaries for safety in the relationship. Abusive relationship help typically recognizes these...
Healing from Domestic Abuse How to Know if You Will Avoid Another Abusive Relationship
People say once a victim, always a victim. I beg to differ.
Over the years I have been watching men and women grow to become self-sufficient, self-respecting people who have no tolerance for being abused any more. These people have completely healed from domestic abuse.
How do you know if you are going to be one of these people versus the person that ends up in another abusive relationship? Here are some pointers for knowing you're home free when it comes to being victimized by intimate...
Abusive Relationship Signs Endlessly Inadequate in the Presence of Your Abusive Spouse
When you walk through that door, my time becomes your time. Sound familiar?
The question I have is, Is it good or is this bad? That could go either way depending on how you experience yourself when you are with him...when you give to him...when he wants from you...when he gives to you.
If you are in an abusive relationship, you may notice that you step out when your abusive spouse steps in. It may be that you believe you need to be all about him when he shows up, because being about you...
Abusive Relationship Help Changing the Dynamics of Abusive Relationships Habits of Victimization
When I tell you 'no' and you whine, get angry...etc, then my job is to simply allow you the space to experience that which you feel.
If you live in an abusive relationship or have left one, this probably doesn't sound familiar. But you know in your heart that if it were this way, your relationships would be more satisfying.
Who Owns Whose Upset
In abusive relationships here's what more typically happens. The controlling partner expresses a desire for something, and the less empowered...
Healing from Domestic Abuse The Creation and Implication of Fuzzy Versus Firm Boundaries
People treat you the way you teach them to treat you. If you request and insist on your boundaries being honored, they will be. On the other hand, if you allow others to determine whether to respect your limits or not, then expect your boundaries to be treated as they wish to do so.
This is an important lesson for anyone who has ever been in an abusive relationship, either with a parent or with an intimate partner. It's a lesson that requires clear and focused integration and application, yet...
Domestic Abuse Counseling How to Engage Your Partner in Abusive Relationship Therapy
Identifying the problem is half of the solution. We hear this in healthcare and in domestic abuse counseling, too.
But when you are on the receiving end of domestic abuse, you often lose sight of the fact that identifying the problem is part of the treatment. Battered women expect their abusive partners to have admitted that they are batterers in order to enter into therapy. Not true!
In fact, more often than not, batterers voluntarily entering into domestic abuse therapy are in denial that...
Healing Emotional Abuse Boundary Issues of Domestic Violence
We hear about domestic abuse survivors' boundary issues as though this is what got them in the abusive relationship. Well, maybe it did. However, it's also true that their progressive dismantling of their personal boundaries is what keeps them safe while living in an abusive relationship.
If you are in an abusive relationship, you probably know what I mean. Now it may not necessarily be something that you are conscious of, but I trust you are aware of the fact that if you say no, to...
Domestic Violence Treatment Domestic Abuse Intervention in the Context of Relationship Therapy
People ask, Why are you trying to help people 'fix' relationships that many people urge you to flee? We are by profession, practice and expertise healers first. Our belief is that people, at the core of their being, have the capacity for change.
Every person in an abusive relationship, whether they are the abuser or abused, can influence the dynamics of the relationship. Now this doesn't mean to imply that domestic abuse survivors are responsible for the battering or even have the ability to...
After the Abusive Relationship Long Term Aid for Domestic Abuse Survivors
Do what you're called to do and the universe will support you. You've probably heard this, but may be scratching your head thinking about your bills, responsibilities and all of the what ifs...
This is understandable. So rather than jump in with blind faith, I want to invite your everyday casual, rational mind to do what you're called to do. And then, address the missing link domestic abuse survivors commonly bring to the table.
Doing What You're Called to Do Is Your JOB
When you're doing...
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